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Antiwork

I’m exhausted

I lost my job on Monday of seven years because of my poor attitude. I worked as an office admin for a doctor’s practice and did their insurance billing. When I started, it was a great environment, with what I thought were caring and sympathetic people. Unfortunately, in 2019, the manager who trained me, and was a wonderful office manager, decided to leave because the owner refused to pay her a salary appropriate to her position. After they left, the admin office feel to two people, myself and a part time employee, who was in school at the time, so she wasn’t around that often, most days not at all. I was not mad about that as there were two things that tempered it; 1. My coworker had been full time until she decided to go back to school and she worked well. 2. The owner said she would have…


I lost my job on Monday of seven years because of my poor attitude. I worked as an office admin for a doctor’s practice and did their insurance billing. When I started, it was a great environment, with what I thought were caring and sympathetic people. Unfortunately, in 2019, the manager who trained me, and was a wonderful office manager, decided to leave because the owner refused to pay her a salary appropriate to her position.

After they left, the admin office feel to two people, myself and a part time employee, who was in school at the time, so she wasn’t around that often, most days not at all. I was not mad about that as there were two things that tempered it;
1. My coworker had been full time until she decided to go back to school and she worked well.
2. The owner said she would have a new office manager with in a few weeks.

Cut to six months later, I’ve been running the office mostly by myself and we have no office manager. The owner remedies this by hiring her in law, who is much older than the staff (in their late 60s), and while experienced, knew nothing about the business.

Since then, it was a nightmare. My coworker left to pursue her career by 2020. After her departure, it’s been a revolving door of other part time student employees and an office manager who could/would not lift a finger to help the office, whether that was answering a phone, taking new client information, whatever. While my other coworkers have been great, for the most part, I’ve had to train 11 people in the past 3 years.

Since 2020, I’ve grown resentful and bitter. I have a hard time containing what I think and feel. But I became more vocal as the years have gone on and, unfortunately, this has manifested in passive aggressive comments and straight up truculence on my part. I’ve not liked the person that I’ve become over the past three years and it’s because that job was a major source of stress and overwork, doing four people’s jobs and not having any real support.

Recently, I got into an argument with the office manager in front of a new hire. He quit, citing the hostility. On Monday, the owner fired me and let me know it was my fault.

I took the news kind of okay. I actually felt a lot of relief but I’m reeling because the person I became at that job is not who I am. I take full responsibility for everything I said or did, but it was not okay that I was treated as a calculator, there to just do the work for you and you get the benefit of the result. I guess I’m a little hurt because I was sucked dry and the ownership has done nothing to rectify the known issues of only hiring students and the gross nepotism. It’s just all disgusting and I’m still disgusted with myself in how I acted during that time.

Any who, I’ve put out 17 applications since then, had an interview today but it won’t be a good fit. I’m just so tired and I can only make it about a month and a half before I have to dip into my savings. I’m scared.

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