I hope this is an okay sub to post this in.
I'm in my early 20s. My plan after graduating high school was to work for a while, save up some money and eventually go to uni so I eventually can get a more qualified job. So as for now, I do not have any post-high school education.
This did not go as easy as planned. It feels like I'm such a lazy coward compared to everyone else. My friends and people around me seem so resilient and non-lazy. It doesn't matter if they find a job boring or anxiety-inducing; they show up 40 hours a week no matter what and stick with the job, or at the very least until they have found something better.
I'm embarrassed to say I do not seem to function like that. I have quit jobs even though it meant becoming unemployed just because they gave me anxiety and I couldn't sleep at night. A while ago I got a part-time warehouse job after being unemployed for quite a long while. I only work 6-12 hours a week and to me even that's too freaking much at this job. The monotony is hell. Thankfully we are allowed to use earbuds but even that can't save me. It's absolutely mind-boggling to me that a lot of my coworkers work x4 as much as me and have done so for years.
I think I've only had one job that I felt “okay” working at. Unfortunately, it was a temporary contract. I feel so lost now cause I know I need to find a job with more hours so I can eventually move out, go to uni etc. But whenever I browse job websites there is such a small percentage of jobs I could actually imagine working out without either feeling anxious or ripping off my hair from boredom. People always tell me “x and y are desperate for people, you will get a job there immediately!”. But when I hear about the working conditions there I'm just like “nope, no freaking way, I know I will not be able to handle that”.
I don't tie my value to my job/career but it sucks that I am this way since I do need to work to support myself in this society. I want to “grow up” and become independent. But I also don't want to spend everyday either feeling unfulfilled or constantly anxious. I don't want to be this way and I don't understand how everyone else around me seems to handle it so good. I don't know what's up with me. Ironically, I live in a country that has quite good working conditions.
I see people all the time saying “yeah the job sucks but it's money, at least it's better than being unemployed”. But not even money seems to motivate me.