I have worked in a literal prison for the past three years, 12 hour shifts 5 days in a row for 2 of those years. I have missed the birth of my nieces, their birthdays, family gatherings, and major holidays all because “someone needs to do it and everyone else has done it for years.” I have watched my coworkers recieve calls that their family members have been hurt and then have to wait HOURS for someone to relieve them from their post.
I have had actual breakdowns in the office, give a wet paper towel and been told to go back to my post because, “you're too young to be feeling like this and it can't be that bad.” I have risked my life stopping others from killing someone else and no effort has been made to make sure I was OK. I've seen an person's flesh bubble in their bodies from having boiling oil thrown on them. I've seen heads caved in from locks in a sock. I've had my coworkers leave me in the middle of a fight because they were scared and I was expected to continue to work along side of them and trust them like nothing had ever happened.
My coworkers have died at this job and the most that was offered was a condolence then post assignments read. Another coworker passed and a week later, his job postion was posted. Offenders have been more sympathetic to family problems than administration. I had an unknown illness and was out for a week doctors orders, and I was called multiple times, demanding I come in a cover shift because they needed the help.
They wanted my devotion, my loyalty, my life; everything that I did, they needed to know. They demanded I love the opportunity to be a paid prisoner. They acted as though it was a privilege to be working 70 hours a week, we should think them for giving us the ability to earn so much money in overtime as they taxed every penny we had. But if we didn't work the overtime, we couldn't make a living.
To do all of the things they asked, to sacrifice my mental health, my physical wellbeing, my very happiness: they pay me $38,000 a year.
I'm scared though, I have very little savings to survive til i get snother job, but I have months of sick leave and Vacation leave that they denied me the use of. I refuse to be paid to be a prisoner in my own job any longer.
So farewell to the sleepless nights, farewell to crying in my car, farewell to wondering if this is the day that I don't come back alive. Farewell to the people who throw you to the wolves to save their own skin in a place where teamwork is crucial to survival. And lastly a big farewell and fuck you to the Adult Correction Department, a scam that offers no real change to a broken person.
Thank you for reading the ramblings of a person done with their work life. Best of luck to everyone in the same situation. Don't wait til it's too late.