More than that I'm tired of being tired. I've been oscillating between high levels of depression and low levels of depression for years now, but it never really goes away. Every day at work I find myself thinking about the fact that I have to work 5 days a week, every week, for probably the rest of my life (barring sickness or some vacation days every year), and how unbearably depressing that reality is.
This is it? Really? This is the best we can do? I have to do this for the majority of my conscious hours, on 70% of my days, on the vast majority of my weeks, for the rest of my life? How does everyone else not go fucking insane? How is there still 35+ years of this ahead of me? I'm 32, I've never gotten used to it, and I don't think I ever will at this point. If anything I feel worse about it now than I did 5 or 10 years ago. We've seen insane gains in productivity over the last century, but despite this I'm still working the same amount of hours.
WHY?!
Just fucking WHY?
I can't take this for another 3-4 decades. If the chronic stress related health conditions don't get me first then I'm worried that at some point I will.