My parents emotionally manipulated me as a child so I grew up to be a doormat people pleaser. I've been anti-capitalist for awhile, but it's only recently that I realized how deeply ingrained my people pleasing is and how negatively it affects my mental health and work. I work an office job was doing the work for 3 people because I would help literally anybody that came to me with questions. My supervisor was a very out of touch boomer too which really didn't help. I had a mental breakdown a few months ago and luckily was presented with an opportunity to change departments. I took it in attempt to start fresh with a new supervisor and co-workers and I'm already falling into my old habits. Today is the start of my 4th week and I decided to take a sick day because I was feeling a tad suicidally this morning so I thought it would be best to chill and play video games. However, I CANNOT RELAX. I'm just anxiously pacing my house hoping nobody thinks negatively of me for taking a sick day so soon into this new position. My new supervisor is thankfully a little more in touch with reality and has said multiple times not to lose sleep over this job, but idk why I'm still anxious.
I know how ridiculous I sound. I always preach to others to take sick days when needed and work your salary, but I cannot do the same for myself. I'm fully aware I have a problem and am in therapy and take meds, but I'm wondering if anybody else in this group is like this and how they manage it.