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Is it okay for me to be mad and say no?

I’m (24F) a singer. I sing at hotel bars, mall stages, restaurants and private parties in a touristic island. I grew up here and started singing professionally like this at 15. This isn’t end game for me. My parents were both in this industry and now they’re old and have no pension and are struggling to make ends meet. I understand this job is temporary for me. I actually want to study to be a sound engineer. The problem is at this new hotel I’ve been singing at for 2 days a week these past 3 months. The owner of the hotel showed up last Wednesday and it’s been low season lately so everywhere is basically empty with 2 tables max. This day was no different, it was 2 tables and his table of 4 people. The other two tables left and the owner stood up, came up to me…


I’m (24F) a singer. I sing at hotel bars, mall stages, restaurants and private parties in a touristic island. I grew up here and started singing professionally like this at 15. This isn’t end game for me. My parents were both in this industry and now they’re old and have no pension and are struggling to make ends meet. I understand this job is temporary for me. I actually want to study to be a sound engineer.

The problem is at this new hotel I’ve been singing at for 2 days a week these past 3 months. The owner of the hotel showed up last Wednesday and it’s been low season lately so everywhere is basically empty with 2 tables max.
This day was no different, it was 2 tables and his table of 4 people. The other two tables left and the owner stood up, came up to me and told me “sing Tennessee Whiskey”. I told him I don’t know it that well and he said “sing it anyway” and left. I quickly looked up the song on my youtube music and heard it a little so I could improvise. I sang it and then he told me to go over to his table.

He then proceeded to say that I was cute and all but I’m too comfortable. I need to get out of my comfort zone. He sees “rockgirl” in me. He wants me to sing Janice Joplin and wear KISS (the band) type of make up and clothes. I told him I don’t sing what makes me comfortable. I sing what the guests want. This is a hotel bar where people come to drink a cocktail, read a book and watch the sunset. They love it when I sing bosanova and norah jones. He said “yeah but I’m telling you this”. I knew he was the owner because the bartenders told me, he didn’t introduce himself to me, he just started speaking to me.
I told him I could sing a few rock songs from my generation like Paramore but that it’s not my repertoire or my voice type to sing those types of songs (plus I don’t want to injure my voice just to please him. Again, this isnt endgame for me). He said he sees untapped potential in me and that by monday i need to show up like he wants me to.

I then went back to singing and sang those Paramore songs I promised him. He then stood up came up to me, reached to my face and removed my glasses off my face. As I said “I need those to see” he threw them in my tip jar and said to not bring them on monday and to let my hair loose (its very, VERY windy there). I felt like he didn’t care about any objections I had, he just did what he wanted.

I called the manager who booked me and told him about this incident exactly how I’m telling it now and how I’m afraid of monday. I refuse to show up dressed how he wants me to after that disrespect. If he asked nicely I would’ve done it with all the love in the world but not like this.

Now I’m feeling like I over reacted and should’ve just not told the manager anything and just go on monday dressed how he wanted me to and sang the songs he wanted me to (although i dont know any janice joplin)

Was I wrong for getting upset and telling the manager?

Btw: there is no contract that states anything about how i should dress or what songs I should sing. It’s been agreed upon on the day they hired me that I would sing what the guests want and I would take requests from the guests if I know the songs.

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