It’s 3.15am here. I have been working since 9am yesterday. Now, no one has said “you have to work until 3am”. Everyone says that my company will provide support when it’s needed. But I have been desperately asking for more resource for my project for weeks to no avail. I have said I want to give up the project to someone with more experience to no avail. And there is a huge expectation for the work to just be done. There’s no one else to work on this but me and no one to take the fall but me. And now it’s the deadline (the renegotiated 3 times deadline) for the delivery of my project and I’m here, staring at my screen and the work is still nowhere near done. I feel like a paradox: I fear it’s my fault for not working hard enough before to get it done, but I’m also furious that I’m being overworked to reach some pointless “Utilisation Rate” whilst also being expected to develop service lines for non-billable time. This has been quite incoherent and I don’t really have a point. But I’m exhausted, and the end is not in sight.