this is a very long post
TLDR- my boss uses me and abuses her power in the work place and my only escape is reading zombie apocalypse books while i wait for my inevitable death*
I started my newest job early February of this year.
My first red flag should’ve been the 30 day trial period with no pay until the end of the month. Thankful i didn’t leave my other job until a few months later.
The interview was probably max 10 minutes. It was scheduled for 9am i got there at least 20 minutes early. Waiting for about 15 minutes past 9 and was told i would be offered the job immediately and started at $15 an hour due to my lack of knowledge in the field (experience of 1yr or more in my field is minimum $18/hr) and after my 30 day trial period i would be bumped up or considered for a raise if i showed fast progress in my field.
I was desperate from moving states and paying off vet bills and figured it could be worth the low pay as long as i got enough experience that i could use as leverage to get a raise and move up in the company. I was so wrong in so many levels.
After 15 days of my trial period i was offered the position and continued to work as hard as i could. Taking on extra work and proving that i could learn quickly. They never discussed any bump in pay and when i received my first paycheck i was started at $16/hr not $15. I tried discussing it with my boss since i wasnt even communicated to and it felt a little sneaky. I was told not to say anything to my coworkers and that i could come back to her in 6 months to discuss my progress and a raise.
I worked my fucking ass off. Worked on projects that were not in my field, helped my hire ups on work they didnt want to do. Asked to learn and read x-rays. Helped in a surgery and asked to help in others. Worked on personal projects for my boss. Trained new hires only after working there for a few month when we had a completely competent manager to do so.
I was so ready when my 6 month review came around in July. I convinced myself that i was worth at least bare minimum and i would push myself to ask for $18/hr. I walked into her office and she immediately stated how proud she was of my progress and that she had already bumped me up to 16.50. COMPLETELY GASLIGHTING ME AND GIVING ME NO ROOM TO TALK! After i stated and showed her my most recent paystub that i wasnt given a raise she told me she would bump me up to 16.50 and that i could not tell a soul that we had this meeting and we could talk again at my 1 year mark…
After i realized i would get no where with her and hearing all my coworkers complain and shit on her behavior and the toxic work environment that they all had to be in , i shut down. I asked for more hours and tried to just work as hard as i could hoping could just put my head down and enjoy myself on the weekends as so many capitalism slaves do.
SHE MOVED ME TO THE BILLING DEPARTMENT. I had to learn a whole new skill within a day so i could work on the accounts that were years old and needed to be finalized. It took me maybe 3 days to comfortably work by myself with limited help. My new coworkers were making probably the minimum in a medical billing field but still probably double what im making. Which then my boss started jokingly bulling me and ignoring me when not making jokes about how “awful i was at my job”
I figured to just take it as a win and gain as much experience. I ended up overworking myself and developing tendonitis and taking off a week. Coming back i was told i was too distracting and not working fast enough. Aside from saying hello or small talk during lunch breaks or work dinners i rarely speak to anyone.
I also found out my boss has hidden cameras in the rooms that dont have visible cameras which made me very uncomfortable.
During my week off i started reading. Zombie books zombie movies. Zombie games. Anything to get me away from my inevitable doom off returning to work. A week later i got the flu. I got another week off and i loved every bit of it. I cant get enough of the books im reading.
I just dont know what to do. I feel like the environment i was raised in i crave the hard work and find myself escaping into other realities in my mind to substitute but i hate this world i hate my job and my boss and i cry on my way to work knowing it will be the worst 8 hours of my life every fucking day. There is no point to me working just to afford to keep working and i cannot wait til i die.