I quit my job today. Long story short: I did not prioritize an important task and felt immense pressure and disappointment that i just left.
Super irresponsible and I am disappointed. I know that jobs can drop me like that and i probably shouldn't guilty, but deep down i know i was at fault.
Lets start in the beginning. First boss, she was amazing. Helicopter mom a little? Yes but in the best way possible. She would watch my work like a hawk and check to see if there were mistakes. If there were, she would send me a quick email. I could ask her almost anything and she knew the answer or she would do more research to figure that out. That was my boss for a year.
Then she left and I was left with the boss above her. I have never worked under someone who knew so little about the basics of the department they oversaw. I had to explain basic details, things that people that weren't in our department knew.
She micromanaged everything wanting to know exactly what you were doing and would send IM after IM to make sure I saw her email.
When I asked for help, feedback, or knowledge, she would say “Oh I just don't have the time for this” or “You should know this”.
She wanted things done now and I had many tasks to do? I would email and say, “Hi, I have to prioritize this as it has to go out before 2. I will finish this other task once that is done as it is due in 2 days” she would call me and tell me to do the task she wanted. Then we would get repercussions because she knew very little about the department and told me to prioritize an unimportant task.
She would be extremely mad at you if you missed something in her large, bulky, inconsistent emails, but I would send emails with clear one sentence bullet points that she still would read one line and freak out. Every time I would send these emails, I would still call her on teams to read the email out loud and go through each line with her to ensure what I was trying to convey came through.
Lots of times I would feel what I wanted to say got through but it was not uncommon that she would reply to the email with a completely lack of understanding still. I would call her again and she would say that I was the one who didn't understand the first conversation. It got to a point where I would record our calls to play back to her to have her remember what we talked about.
When I had covid, she was very passive aggressive with me the whole week I did remote even though my symptoms were horrible. Her calls and emails were riddled with “This is such a difficult time for you to have done this. You shouldn't have been irresponsible to go out” even though she was fully remote and visited the office once a year and I was full time. It was stupid of me to go out.
She would hate unneccessary emails but would also go through anxiety filled email chains asking everyone about something that several people have told her.
Example: While I was out for covid, we had an invoice that was larger than normal. This was because the person working it was providing two things: The actual service and they were bilingual so it covered the cost of translation.
My boss sent a frantic, unorganized, bulky email asking why this was invoice was so large. I replied very clearly screenshotting the contract of this specific service showing the hourly rate of this and why it was as large as it was. Instead of listening to it, she sent mass emails to several accountants, the account manager, the person working on that service. I finally called her and she calmed down.
In comparison, I could send an email asking someone in accounting if I am sending an invoice out to the correct place and she would send me a long email telling me how it was uneccessary and I should have known where that specific invoice went.
After long resentment and burnout with this boss, I put off an important task and lied that I was going fast on it. It's still not ok, but I was sick of the constant IMs and emails telling me to get this done. Finally she sent me 20 IMs too many, and I just sent what I had for the task and said I was quitting in that moment.
I am the only person who knew that job and there is another girl coming in to replace me that I was supposed to train tomorrow. I have a lot of guilt for leaving her like I did. I don't know her but she is innocent in all of this.
I am so burnt out and tired from this boss and school. I am tired of it all. I want to just take long walks with my dog and my sister.