Hey all! I'm a 39/F and I work in IT. I had a good job for a large media conglomerate for the last four months, however, the place just kept getting more and more toxic. I had a septoplasty about a week and a half ago, and I've been home recovering, and yesterday I got the Sunday Scaries. Yesterday was a Wednesday. I decided to just erase my work computer, go to my office, drop it off and leave, and they're lucky I even did that because if I hadn't left my sweater behind, I would have just ghosted. I said basically everything below to HR, and he told me that my previous complaints actually opened an investigation, but he totally understood why I wanted to leave (I'd complained before about things one at a time, but not all at once). He asked me to send him an email with everything I told him in it for documentation purposes, and I want to share that with you now. Perhaps it will encourage others to speak out when they've got nothing left to lose.
“I would like to tender my resignation as of today, and I will not be leaving notice.
This may not be the worst job I've had, but its definitely the worst people I've worked for. Pardonay moi francios.
BOSS'S agression towards me started when I gave him Covid. I apologized repeatedly for giving it to him, but he didn't seem to care. He asked me in the IT Webex chat “Do you know how to fucking read?” regarding an article about Cinema4D plugins. If I knew how to use Cinema4D, I wouldn't be working in the department I work in making the wage I'm making. I got called in for a spontaneous performance review hosted by him and BOSSES BOSS and BOSSES BOSS started it off with “I already talked to BOSS about the can you fucking read thing, so we're not going to talk about that. Instead we're going to talk about your piss poor performance” and laid into me, comparing me to MY COWORKERS, saying I'm not catching on fast enough and how that's “concerning”. For the record, I was reading at a 6th grade level in 2nd grade. My mother couldnt buy me chapter books as fast as I could read them.
A few weeks later I made the fatal mistake of asking if I could join the Friday wfh rotation, and I was immediately laughed out of the room. Bringing it to BOSSES BOSS attention resulted in another spontaneous performance review that included The MY NAME Journal that BOSS has apparently been keeping, walking around asking people if I messed anything up. A meeting with HR ensued, not going to go into detail but I do want to note BOSSES denial of telling me to “shut the fuck up” once in front of COWORKER and another during a meeting which OTHER COWORKER overheard. BOSS apologized (I'm using the word apologize loosely here) with “I'm sorry I told you to shut the fuck up but man, I hate backseat drivers”. I told him this apology was unacceptable. He did not offer another and denied telling me to shut the fuck up in the meeting which OTHER COWORKER overheard. He also said that the first time he told me to shut the fuck up he was teaching 6 people how to do something when in reality he was teaching 3, and that I interrupted him like 10 times, when it was twice.
In a later 1:1, BOSS told me that he didn't like that I didn't seem interested in learning NEW TICKETING SYSTEM. First off, we were learning it at 550pm and I had just found out a good friend of mine killed themselves and was in shock. It's a stupid fucking ticketing system. You open the ticket, work it, and close it. There is NOTHING TO LEARN we're not doing brain surgery here.
My last 1:1 with BOSS was the last fucking straw. We got a monitor in and I put it on the table with a bunch of other monitors. He asked me “What went through your head when you decided to leave that monitor there? Do you think you can just leave monitors and tech laying around wherever you want? Explain to me your thought process when you decided to just leave that monitor there.” Then he said that ANNOYING COWORKER (more on him later) asked me if I liked Joe Rogan and ANNOYING COWORKER was offended by my “Joe Rogan is a douchebag” response because if ANNOYING COWORKER likes Joe Rogan then that somehow makes ANNOYING COWORKER a douchebag too? He spoke to me at length about it and I still don't fully understand the issue, but he finished it off with “I've asked you to stop engaging with ANNOYING COWORKER before, but yet you continue to, and its CONCERNING”. I'm not sure what I could have done differently here. People shouldn't be asking questions they don't want the answers to maybe? The whole thing sounded like a personal problem that wasn't mine.
Then, after I was crying, he asked me if I had any feedback for him. I told him no and he got mad. Asked me if I was suuuuuuuure. “C'mon, just give me feedback!”. I again said no. I felt like he was trying to goad me into some kind of screaming match. He heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes at me and started typing on his computer. I told him that because I was crying, I'd like to stay in there CONFERENCE ROOM as there was only 15 minutes left of the work day, and he chuckled to himself and stared at me until I became uncomfortable and left.
BOSSES BOSS is a literal child. I don't know what he does other than act like we're all friends one second and swoop down and crack skulls for minor infractions the next. He told me he's only the director of IT because he's been working there the longest, and that is a shit way to give people undeserved titles. Some of my friends have teenage children, and it's like you give them one responsibility and all of a sudden they think they run shit, and that is what comes to mind when I think of BOSSES BOSS. He does nothing but inflame minor situations into huge HR issues. Leadership is supposed to lead, and I have yet to see either him or Joe lead anything. He does lead in racist and sexist jokes, however.
ANNOYING COWORKER told me he is autistic. I get it. We make a lot of concessions for him, excusing his behavior, not talking to him about things they should, telling other people to modify their behavior rather than deal with his, etc. We are supposed to work as a team, and that requires his participation. Allowing him not to participate because of some made up reason or another is not doing anyone any favors.
I am a security and compliance person by trade. I did not spend 9+ years in colleges and classrooms earning advanced degrees and certifications for someone like BOSS AND BOSSES BOSS to tell me I'm a moron. They continue to tell me I dont know anything, but can't quite tell me what I'm missing. I didn't apply for this job, I was recruited. If BOSS feels he made a poor hiring choice, then that is on him, not me. I went through 6 whole interviews to get this position. I know I am a good fit, but I'm not the problem here. After my last 1:1, my last day in the office before my life-altering surgery, BOSS closed it out by telling me that he hopes I think about him and what he's said to me before my vacation, like I'd be laying on the beach in Aruba with nothing to do except think about him. I thought about him alright. Thought about how I would rather be unemployed than spend one more minute participating in this clown show.
I hope something changes, even if not for me, but for the person who will be taking my role. This department is not conducive to learning or growth. Also, referring to the people we are helping as “retarded” is not a good look.”
Sorry its so long, but I am kinda proud of myself.