I got fired in February from a toxic and judgmental work environment (and filed a wrongful termination suit, but that's a different discussion), and I have been living on unemployment ever since then. I feel a little guilty about it because I understand the importance of making a contribution. But dude, my health has improved DRASTICALLY. I can sleep more than 4 hours per night. I don't want to kill myself half the time. I don't get massive headaches anymore. My heartburn is gone. I have struggled with heartburn for years — including throughout school when I'd pull all-nighters regularly — and the fact that I haven't had a significant flare-up in weeks is almost surreal. One night this past October, I legit chugged an entire bottle of Pepto Bismol crying and thinking I may need to be hospitalized. But now it's… GONE. I can sit down and read. I can work on the book I'm trying to write, which I care about more than anything. I don't have to rush through cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I can spend more time with my family and help take care of my grandmother who now officially has dementia. I can take a nap when randomly overcome with exhaustion. I can just BREATHE and take care of myself.
I can't get over how surreal this feels. So despite some guilt, and my mother nagging me about finding another job, I plan on letting this last as long as I can. I finally feel like I have permission to be a person. As much as I love my mother, I have been marveling at how much of a bootlicker she has been sounding like recently, and I'm now realizing that a lot of issues I've had with being a people-pleaser while growing up probably stemmed from her. I realize this is not going to be sustainable forever, and I don't want it to be, but for now, I need this and I'm tired of hearing people talk about work all the freaking time when we can clearly live in a world with a lot less of it. Sure, if you like working, do it as much as you want for something you love and believe in, but don't drag the rest of us down with us FFS. Pretty sure the world is burning up, anyway, so enjoy life while you can before it all goes to shit.