Okay so I (20F) started a new job in February. It is my first factory job, I have since been promoted and have been training for this new position for 2 months. It is very stressful and while I have a few friends the culture is toxic. The people who have been there forever are assholes with no consequences and will not hesitate to bring tiny mistakes straight to management.
I have severe depression and anxiety. I get overwhelmed easily and we just had to up my medication due to continued panic attacks. (Small mistakes during my training with no real consequences in production turn into getting called into the supervisors office. I'm not exaggerating, I got called in for leaving a forklift with half battery. I cried in the freezer a few weeks ago before going to the locker room to call my mom for support)
I call into work when it gets too bad to leave the house. I had 6 attendance points out of 8 last week when I got sick and called in Wednesday. I have a lot of chronic pain and that plus my anxiety can make it difficult to get out of bed. That makes 7 points, if I get another I will be fired.
I called the nurse Wednesday and she rolled that point over to Thursday and Friday when I still felt like shit. She said I needed a doctors note so I got one. I called off again today because I spent half an hour crying into my boyfriends chest about how scared I was to go to work because I would have to talk to the nurse/my supervisor/HR about my attendance. I left a message for the nurse but she didn't answer.
I really need this job but my health is getting so bad. I am thinking about moving to part time to take some of the load off, or applying for intermittent leave for the days it's unbearable. I just don't think anyone will understand. I have a long and documented struggle with my mental health including multiple hospital stays but I try to bury it around people. It's invisible and sounds like a cop out when I explain what I feel. I don't want to lose this job but fuck, this sucks.
Any ideas are more than welcome, thanks everyone for listening.