I have been at my new job for approximately a year. I loved my prior job and got along well with everyone but needed to make more money. I joined my team making us 6, but due to layoffs the most senior person was let go recently making the Team 5. There had been layoffs throughout the state, but in our region they chose this person. The thing is, when I started, I was told to let everyone get to know me because we are a small team. I felt a little out of place but thought I was getting along well until this recent layoff. Because the senior person was the first hire and very reliable I felt like this built a hostility wall immediately towards me. Like why her? We have a relationship with her and not the new hire(me) who knows nothing. I also was then told by my manager again to become more of a team player and talk to everyone. I thought I was already by how much I picked up for everyone and was the first to offer help. As well as being talkative. I felt slightly targeted before for being the youngest and the only minority of the group. But now I really feel targeted. I have gone above and beyond the last 2 weeks trying to be helpful but instead I am subtly shamed by my coworkers, mainly the one and I feel like no one really wants to talk to me or wants me to get good at my job and help. I’m ignored a lot in the teams chats as well. I’m constantly by 1 specific coworker being called out for trying to answer tickets no one claimed(if she wanted to do it she needs to assign it to herself) and she is constantly watching my every move. She is definitely the one I have the most issue with but my coworker that was laid off said you can’t do anything about it due to her chronic illness that will eventually expire her, they always side with her. I feel like my other coworkers are more influenced by her but I know they aren’t the biggest fan of her.
Idk my anxiety is getting the best of me and I feel like I’m fumbling my bag and emotionally it’s starting to hurt. I’m not an emotional person but when it comes to my job and something that can put my job on the line my anxiety and stress immediately sky rockets. I just want to become a shut in again but my participation is such a huge factor. This job pays so well and there are so many lay offs going on right now I can’t afford to just go back to my job or risk going to another job.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like if I bring it up, it only brings a larger target on my back that can cause me to be fired. Cause it would mean I am messing up the team dynamic and they were fine before me. Aka no one tried to complain but the coworker laid off. It’s obvious she was laid off due to her not wanting to participate in team building and being buddy buddy.