So it's 3 AM right now, and I can't sleep because I'm so sick I can hardly breathe (got a negative at home covid test earlier). I've been up all night having anxiety and trying to decide whether its worth it to force my way through the work day.
Here's where you'll lose sympathy for me... I've only worked at this place for 2 months, and have already called out 3 times, most recently last week, and also asked my boss to reduce my hours from 40 a week to 24 (I have no motivation to earn more than it takes to keep myself alive). My reasons for calling out before were all depression related, however I just said I was "not feeling well" in my call out emails (boss didn't reply let alone ask for a doctors note), so I didn't lie, but I still feel extremely guilty for calling out 3 days in 2 months (even though there is no added burden on my coworkers, the job is in a warehouse and whatever doesn't get done gets made up eventually, we're under staffed and constantly behind anyway, and employees are tracked by individual efficiency, not overall productivity of the team).
Now I am truly sick as a dog, and can't decide whether to do the "right" thing for mine and my coworkers health and call out, thus risking my only source of income and taking on more guilt. Or to do the "responsible" thing and go into work anyway to preserve the job I hate, and guarantee I can pay my rent and buy groceries.
Side notes: First, I live in Pennsylvania, some people have told me that if I get a doctors note, my employer cannot fire me for calling out, but I was under the impression Pennsylvania was a no fault state and that my boss didn't even have to give a reason for terminating my employment (r/legaladvice downvoted my post about this immediately and no one has responded yet) Second, I don't have health insurance, so a doctors note would be slightly more difficult to obtain today, but I could probably make it happen if I have some sort of confidence that this will protect me from firing and not just be a frivolous expense. Third, my boss seems like an alright guy, he's been very understanding and flexible with me so far, but he has over 100 employees relying on him for almost everything (I guess he doesn't like to delegate because he has about a dozen "team leaders" under him that just sit around and chat all day, and seem to have little to no authority). He's very hard to reach, and like I said before, he never responded to my previous call outs which makes this situation hard to read, but I feel like this call out will be the straw that breaks the camels back. On the other hand, I don't have paid sick days, and some people online have said that if they're not paying me to take a sick day, they might not really care, and see it more as if I want to earn money, I can show up, if not, no big deal. This sounds totally foreign from every job I've ever had where managers seemed to relish firing people for taking unpaid sick days, but this is my first job in this kind of setting, so I don't really know the culture yet. I do know it hasn't been brought up with me by anyone, which makes me nervous more than anything. They are short staffed, and I feel like they may just be keeping me around until they fill more positions, but I really don't know how valuable / disposable I am to them right now.
So should I call out and maybe start looking for another job? (I really don't like this job) If you have any advice or suggestions for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
Sorry this turned into a rant, like I said I can't sleep.