I have always been someone who lives paycheque to paycheque like most people. Then something changed. It was awful. My dad died.
I obviously would trade everything back in a heartbeat to have him here again. He had set aside a moderate amount of money for each of us- not a whack but enough to make a difference. When I first receives it I felt messed up and I resented it. I felt like my father's entire existence, everything he was to me was reduced to a cheque.
As I work through my grief and find my footing again- here is one thing I noticed.
Hopelessness made my motivation issues ten times worse. Not being able to pay your bills and struggling regardless makes everything feel hopeless. I'd call off, I'd get so in my head about things and then it was like “So I miss another day, I lose this job, whatever, can't get broker than broke”
Obviously I hate working and I struggle with motivation. But being slightly more secure, feeling like I'm actually somewhat getting ahead, makes me much more likely to put myself out there. I'm not as afraid of failure. I'm not as afraid of a bad day or confrontation at work. I'm just generally less anxious about “failure. “
And how fucked up is it that my DAD had to DIE for me to feel even moderately okay. Still not rich, still won't own a house in the next ten years. But the fear of starving or being without necessities isn't there and low and BEHOLD MY MENTAL HEALTH IMPROVED.
You aren't doing it wrong. You're working for nothing and you're not nuts to feel hopeless. The older generation have no merit in this. Their money went way further. We workin to live and living to work