i just need a place to vent.
when i got hired at this job, i already had another one lined up, and i offered to either work double jobs OR if they could promise me full time, i’d drop the other one and just work this one, since the other one was only about 20 hours a week. boss promised me full time, and since i’ve started working i’ve only been pulling about 28 hours per week as scheduled.
i called out before when i had a fever, and a few days ago when i was having a bad mental health day (i have bpd and panic disorder, which is improving greatly, but sometimes functioning is ridiculously hard.) BOTH times i called out, i made sure i had a cover so i wouldn’t be screwing people over; i even offered to still come in despite having a fever. then, on wednesday evening, my boss texted me saying “we’ll be fine without you tomorrow” despite me being scheduled. i expressed that i needed the hours and was available and willing to work. i reminded him that i was promised full time when i was hired. his response was that i “was never available when i’m needed” and that yes, i was supposed to be full time, but they “can’t count on” me. so now, my already meager hours are being cut down even further as a punishment for a few rough days.
i’m one of the hardest working employees there, and literally the only one my manager likes because (in her words) i’m a go-getter and i work hard. if i leave, the place will be literally screwed since they keep hiring people who are completely incapable/unwilling to do the simplest tasks. i just feel like this isn’t fair. i understand that maybe i haven’t been entirely reliable, but i’m doing my best to make sure that even when i’m unavailable the place is still running okay without me. and being promised full time and having yet to see anything to show for it kind of sucks considering the sheer amount of things i have to pay for (rent, car payments, & now new brakes and tires for my car.)
am i in the wrong here? is what my boss is doing to me okay? i really like this job and don’t want to leave, but part of me wants to be petty, leave, and watch the place get completely screwed. i also just simply need to be getting 40h per week to make ends meet.
i try my best, and everyone in my life recognizes how great i’ve been doing. but it seems like my best is never enough, and i’ll be stuck in an endless cycle of not being able to pay my bills.
maybe i just need to step up and push through and be more of an adult.. but again, i had a fever one time and didn’t really have a choice unless i wanted to get others sick. i dunno. what do you guys think?