my (23f) boss (37m) tried to kiss me. for context, this is my first corporate job so i know what i did was very naive and stupid. we were getting drinks after work with 5 others. i hadn’t had much to eat and the night ended faster than i anticipated, so i was a little too tipsy to drive. he offered to drive me around until i sobered up. i agreed.
he tried to pull me in for a kiss and i stopped him, confused. he is married, he knows i have a long term boyfriend, and most importantly he’s my fucking boss. we got along like a house on fire but i never thought he would cross those boundaries. he said i was flirting with him but i don’t think i was. i treated him like i would treat anyone else i was friends with. in fact i went to him with other peers who were making continuous advances towards me and he suggested i go to HR. i thought we were friends. i know it was a mistake.
since that event, we have called a few times to talk. i told him i was furious for putting me in that position, knowing he has power over my career. i also felt invalidated and betrayed, as he gave me great feedback and we work in a place with not many other young women. i asked him to help me report to another manager but he doesn’t know how to do that without raising concern. im also scared for backlash somehow. im scared people will think i’m a whore or take me less seriously.
what do i do? i don’t want to ruin his life (his wife works at the same company) or destroy my career. im scared to go to HR. what if they don’t believe me? should i talk to the manager i want to report to instead? sorry if this is the wrong place for this. i’ve been wracked with anxiety.