I'm so depressed. I can't move. I feel numb. I feel like what's the point of work? If I make it thru to my retirement plan I get to retire at 65 years old, which already sucks. I don't even want to make it to 60 bc that's when I think all the health problems set in hard. I think in my 60s I'll probably be trying to beat some serious health problem; cancer or something disabling. So I'll have to keep working to keep my stupid health insurance, bc I can't afford it anywhere besides work, so I'll have to keep working while I'm sick and hopefully I can retire by 62 and if I'm not disabled or I'll or broken, then maybe I can finally enjoy life. Travel, take time for myself. It feels so pointless. I don't want to do all that in my 60s I want to do it now. I feel like I would happily trade these years for working mindlessly in my 50s and 60s.
This all just sucks. I can't believe that man JUST retired and now he's gone. He didn't even get to enjoy it. I feel so bleak about everything. Glued to my couch today. š