I went from working anywhere from 25-29 hours a week (couldn't be more than 29 hours a week to keep me from being “full time” but was always schedule the most fucked shifts (like 1 pm to 5 pm or 11 am to 4 pm) to keep me from being able to find a full time, better-paying job. I door dash on the side, give plasma when I can. Now I've been cut to 14 to 16 hours per week. When I spoke to my manager about it, I was given some bullshit about how we “have to make room” for new employees. I even applied for an assistant store manager position and interviewed for it and was told I had a “high chance of getting the job” with a pay raise and it is full-time. I thought…holy shit, I might be able to make ends meet. But then they went with someone I TRAINED and I am at the point of just wanting to up and quit. I can't do that though – I have a child to take care of.
My daughter just turned 6, she's about to start first grade. She needs new shoes, a new toothbrush, I'm using dollar-store dish soap as body wash to stretch what we have left. My child's father is required to pay $32 a week in child support and I'm lucky if I see that at all. I've thought about going back to school but how I will be able to handle juggling school, a job and my making sure my child is taken care of? I had to tell my daughter she couldn't go to a friend's birthday party because it was at a bounce house type thing and admission was $32 for one hour of bouncing and I had nowhere near that in my bank account.
I had been denied for SNAP/TANF/Medicaid before but then I got a notice that my rent is going up again in October. I thought with my child's father not paying child support, rent increasing and my hours being cut, I'd at least get SOMETHING. But no, I got denied, AGAIN. Because I make too much over the threshold. I am 23 and just don't know how to get ahead. I don't have credit card debt or student loans (yay I guess?) but I just don't make enough to survive. Donating plasma and door dashing are good side hustles but I want stability for myself and my daughter.
I've applied for unemployment, I go to food banks when I'm able to. I can't just up and quit my job without having something lined up after that. I have no savings to fall back on. I am literally one bad day away from losing everything. From this shitty one bedroom apartment that has bugs and our freezer doesn't work (and management knows about it but refuses to replace the fridge/freezer) to my shitty car that's about to conk out at any minute. I am so tired of waking up with a pit in my stomach about how I'm going to feed my daughter and make sure she's taken care of. At least she starts school in two weeks so I know she'll get breakfast and lunch every day but how am I going to juggle everything else? I try so hard to shield my kid from all of the bad that is our life right now but I know she's going to start noticing sooner or later that we're so unbelievably poor and her friends have much better, easier lives. It shouldn't be this damn hard to survive as a single parent or a parent at all. I know I'm not the only one but I am just so tired of constantly stressing over how I'm going to make sure we're fed and taken care of day in and day out. I'm just tired y'all