I've been employed by a church for several years, and there's virtually no work-life balance. This job demands unwavering dedication to the church, with only 10 vacation days and one Sunday off per year. I've battled depression, which recently worsened, leading to a breakdown at work. I informed my lead pastor and boss, hoping for understanding. After an official diagnosis, their first concern was about how I'd manage the Christmas and Easter services. I assured them I'd prioritize performance over my mental health.
The leadership insists on a 6-day workweek, and taking personal time comes with guilt. I've had to cancel plans with my wife due to last-minute church needs. It's ironic that, despite emphasizing the sanctity of marriage, the church undervalues spending time with one's spouse. I barely see my wife, even missing her graduation because of church commitments.
I planned a vacation five months in advance, including my one Sunday off, but the pastor made last-minute changes, guilt-tripping me throughout the month to cancel the trip. This constant guilt is eroding me; I feel like I must be a robot for these people. My wife suggests quitting, but there are no well-paying opportunities in my area.
My boss pretends to care about my mental health but becomes disinterested when I talk about it. After my trip, he questioned why I'd be absent on such an important day. I'm torn; I work hard, they pay well, but pursuing a personal life makes me feel selfish. I've contemplated whether taking my life is an option, sparing me this torment. It might not sound extreme, but my depression is making it challenging to convey these issues properly. I cherish the people I work with and meet on Sundays, but asking for time off or expressing my struggles is dreaded. My wife supports me, but I feel like I'm failing her in this job. Apologies if this is heavy; I needed to share how this work culture is slowly destroying me.