I'm about take you on a riveting journey through the twists and turns of my career saga imho —a tale woven with threads of rejection, unexpected detours, and moments of unexpected respite. From the highs of dream jobs to the lows of mysterious departures, each act unfolds as a unique chapter in the book of my Ruinous, Ignominious professional life imho.
Act 1: Legal Limbo – Document Review in the Shadows of the Global Financial Crisis
Amidst the turbulent job market of the 2000s in the waning years of the Bush Administration, I found refuge in the realm of law, securing a position as an attorney specializing in document review. The allure of legal work briefly shielded me from the chaos that had characterized my earlier endeavors. I may have bombed OCI but I secured a foothold in the legal field. Alas, it wouldn't last.
Alas, the global financial crisis, an unwelcome guest to the economic stage, disrupted the semblance of stability I had found. At the ten-month mark of my document review tenure, the firm succumbed to the financial tumult, and I found myself handed a pink slip, once again thrust into the unforgiving embrace of job market uncertainty.
Bombed interviews and indifferent superiors from the legal internship days resurfaced, revealing that even the legal world was not impervious to the fallout of economic crises. The “champ” treatment, a constant companion, persisted through the peaks and valleys of my legal limbo. Ruination ensued and I would never work in law again.
Act 2: Pizza Parlor Perils – Dough, Sauce, and the 'Champ' Treatment
As fate would have it, my journey through the job market wasteland took an unexpected turn into the world of pizza parlors. Seeking refuge from the chaos of retail and the culinary abyss, I found myself donning a pizza maker's hat.
In the world of pizza parlors, every failed attempt at a perfect crust or evenly spread cheese felt like another notch on the belt of ignominy. Yet, amidst the chaos, there was a strange satisfaction in sending imperfect pizzas out into the world, a symbol of my resistance to the relentless pursuit of perfection in a job market that seemed determined to break me. Eventually, though, they Stopped Paying Me and I walked out haha.
Act 3: Retail Roulette – The J-Crew Debacle
In the era just after the Global Financial Crisis, after I was Fired from Doc Review, I found myself in the seemingly glamorous realm of retail. J-Crew, with its promise of trendy clothes and stylish clientele, turned out to be a facade. Folding clothes became my Sisyphean task,. The retail smile I perfected hid the bitter taste of unfulfilled dreams, and the “champ” treatment from oblivious customers became a daily reminder of my lowly status. I sold tons of clothes iirc and was skilled at folding them but I received No Raise, Ever, and no one cared about my diligence or work ethic. Eventually I was put on the schedule without being told that I was, and was Fired for No Call No Show.
Act 4: Culinary Despair – The Hospital Kitchen Blues
Picture this: the acrid smell of disinfectant and the symphony of clattering trays in a hospital kitchen. The legal dreams I harbored led me to a culinary purgatory. Bombed interviews and indifferent superiors filled my days as I navigated the bureaucratic maze of a hospital kitchen. The dream of a prestigious legal career was replaced by the reality of slicing onions in the depths of a veritable Dungeon.
Act 5: The Retail Encore – Sur la Table's Symphony of Mishaps
As if retail hadn't bruised my ego enough, I took another plunge into the abyss—this time at Sur la Table. The world of kitchen gadgets and gourmet dreams turned into a comedy of errors. Mishaps with cookware, misadventures with customers, and a general sense of chaos became the norm. The “champ” treatment, now a familiar foe, followed me like a shadow, turning each workday into a theatrical performance of absurdity. Still, I was the Top Salesman in the Southeast for two quarters straight. Despite this fact, nobody cared. Afaik, ime, no one cares about how good you are at your job. Superiors just Exploit and Ruin you and only reward those who kowtow to them and Worship or ingratiate themselves effectively.
Act 6: Cinematic Interlude – The Dream Job and Mysterious Departure
In a twist of fate, my career trajectory took an unexpected turn into the enchanting world of cinema. A coveted position as a Film Curator for a premier film festival became the beacon of my professional dreams. The allure of curating cinematic masterpieces and basking in the glow of artistic brilliance seemed like a departure from the tumultuous journey that had defined my earlier endeavors.
For a brief moment, I found solace in the world of film, crafting screenings that transported audiences to other realms. However, the shadows of uncertainty loomed once more. Abruptly, after like a few years iirc, I found myself on the receiving end of a mysterious departure, as if the cinematic script had taken an unforeseen twist. Rumors whispered of political intrigue and internal power struggles, yet the true nature of my firing remained elusive. The abrupt end to my tenure as Film Curator left me grappling with the echoes of uncertainty and the lingering suspicion that I had, perhaps, outshone the master. It is a matter of public record that I knew far more about Film than my supervisor and perhaps she never forgave me for it.
Act 7: The Intermission – A Two-Year Respite
Following the cinematic enigma, I found myself in an unexpected intermission—a two-year hiatus from the chaotic dance of employment. During this period, I embraced a unique lifestyle, eschewing traditional work for a more contemplative existence.
Instead of chasing job opportunities, my days were marked by leisure and reflection. I delved into the world of finance, with Treasury bonds becoming my silent companions, generating a modest income through interest payments. The financial markets, once an enigma, became a source of stability in the midst of career tumult.
To add a touch of nostalgia to my respite, I dabbled in the realm of gaming. The profits realized from selling GameCube games became an unexpected source of income, turning a childhood pastime into an unconventional means of sustenance. The eclectic mix of financial prudence and retro gaming provided a peculiar backdrop to my hiatus, as I carved out a space for myself outside the conventional bounds of the professional world.
As we close this Post, I carry with me the lessons learned from the detours and diversions, the moments of unexpected joy, and the shadows of uncertainty. The odyssey, like any epic tale, leaves me with a sense of gratitude for the varied experiences that have shaped my perspective on success, fulfillment, and the pursuit of contentment.
I find solace in the realization that the journey is ongoing—an ever-evolving narrative with new chapters waiting to be written. The labyrinth, with its twists and turns, has been both a challenge and a canvas for self-discovery. And what I have discovered is this: Work is Ruinous and exploitative, and is best avoided. I have become anti-work imho. The destroyer of chamber of commerce republicans. Discuss.