Background:
I am depressed. I told my work in week 33 after it had gotten progressively worse, and asked to go down from 50% to 30%, reducing my KPI goals from 5 to 3 per week. I did this because I saw that I reached an average of 3 per week, and hopes this would make it easier for me to keep working.
My team manager said yes, but the higher ups looked at my recent numbers and said we had to think about of this would be a viable long time solution. Eventually they also said yes, undet the condition of it being a “trial period”.
Lots of things happening due to personal reasons recently, those details is not really important right now, but I did also ask for two weeks off in October due to an aniversairy of an negative event. I didn't tell my boss more than that it is personal, negative, and affects me enough for me to ask to have the week off (the week before is a national vacation and I wanted to spend time with family, so i also got that one off).
Current situation:
As you see in the mail, my numbers have not been as good as they should have been, but we are only 2 weeks into the “trial period”, md even tho I didn't do that well last week, I did really good this week and am currently at 5/6, even with having one day left of this week and being away a day last week (i only work 3 days a week). So I do not think I am doing badly now at all. Which is why I am questioning what the point of this email is.
I cannot see a single way this email can be interpreted positively. It might be the depression speaking, which is why I need a fresh set of eyes, but to me this looks like a warning. “Tic toc, the clock is ticking, do better or lose your job.” I had a good day today, had a productive hour with my psychologist where we talked about how I am worth more than just my numbers, and then I got this email which sounds like it is telling me the exact opposite. It literally sent me to the floor.
So please tell me, am I overreacting? Am I overanalysing this email? I am supposed to work tomorrow, but I am still on the fence if I want to go and make an effort, or just send in a sick note and go to my doctor for official sick leave. And I do not need this job for the money, I have a backup at my dads office and I am still a student (hence why part time) but this job is really good for my CV and I genuinely like the job and my coworkers. It's just this situation that has been hell.