I’m on mobile, so I apologize in advance for any formatting issues. I’ll also be relatively non-descript in this as I fear someone finding it somehow.
To put it plainly, I’m burning out hard and fast at my current job, but there are a ton of factors that make the “just find something else” less of an option for me. I’m young so I don’t have a ton of experience with navigating job dissatisfaction and decision making, so I’d like some advice.
My background is in video and graphic design. I used to work in a different country doing digital content at a very popular television network, essentially creating their online advertisements and YouTube/Instagram/Tiktok content to promote their lineup of shows. I have a Bachelor of Arts in media business, and digital content has been my thing ever since.
One of the most enjoyable parts of my past job (after TV, I was a creative manager for a company in esports and gaming) was travelling to various events and meeting people. I ended up falling in love with a great guy I met at an event, and making plenty of friends in the US, so I chose to break long-distance and managed to get an employment visa here (TN visa), and started working a pretty entry level marketing assistant role for a real estate chain’s corporate office.
The pay is almost survivable to put it kindly (my needs are mostly covered but there won’t ever be an emergency fund built type of deal), and the commute/hours are driving me crazy. I spend more than 2 hours of my day sitting in traffic, and end up having about an 11/12 hour day from start to finish.
I’ve worked remote my whole life, from freelancing to contract work and everything in between. My job at this company is functionally remote as well, but we are under no circumstances allowed to perform this job remotely. Our owner just simply doesn’t believe in it. Our in-office meetings are even held over zoom from our desks, and the rest of my day is spent editing and designing independently. I have ADHD so it’s been a strange shift to go from a quiet atmosphere to being in a bustling office where I find myself frequently distracted by noise and a lack of tools I use to keep myself focused in my home office. I think the commute also makes me bitter about the fact that I could be performing the job exactly the same from my home, and have two extra hours in my day.
The lack of money I make from this job has been keeping me up at night, all night. I’ve lost weight from either needing to nap through my lunch or being too stressed to have an appetite, and my overall ability to take care of myself has sharply declined. After my drive home, I’m barely awake enough to cook myself dinner (and admittedly, even that gets often skipped sometimes).
The people at my workplace are nice and my boss likes my work, it’s just not at all what I want to do, the hours suck, I’m not getting paid enough, the job has strongly impacted my mental and physical health, and the environment has been impacting my productivity.
I don’t know what to do because I’m reaching a breaking point fast of just pure anxiousness when I have to go, but I can’t afford to lose my visa or my personal relationships will suffer. It took so long to be able to get it too.
What should I do?