Edit: I would like to revise the title to read as “I suspect my coworker died from stress related complications stemming from work” I realize my title makes too much of an assumption.
I don't know if antiwork is the place for this, but I feel that if there is anywhere that can point me in the direction of what I need for what I have to do, this is the place.
My friend had been very stressed out from work, specifically her boss. He targeted her and actively sought out any reason to punish her. I was worried about her well being for a long time but the last few months I was much more concerned.
Despite having excellent results as a supervisor and always having exceptional reviews, he would find new ways to demean her.
Most of the things he attacked her for were not against any company policy or listed in any standard operating procedures of her department.
His behavior was so predictable that she knew it would eventually happen again, so I advised that she record the interaction in a way that Teams video calls can't detect and if he happened to do it again, she would have proof of it and could submit that to HR.
Inevitably, he did and she recorded the entire interaction. She sent me a copy of the recording and asked if I could help with making a transcript and lowering the video file size to be able to fit email formatting.
The way he talked to her in that recording was not appropriate for anything, it was terrible.
After preparing all of this, she planned on taking it to HR with documentation of previous instances, but she feared retaliation. All of her examples were very specific and even if reported anonymously she knew he would know it was her reporting it.
To make matters worse, after that specific video meeting, his mistreatment escalated. He began demanding that she check in for any sort of break via Teams chat with exact times, estimates on when she would return, details of where she would be and for what purpose.
Around this time she requested and was granted vacation time off, and planned to go to a beautiful air bnb to relax, but the day before she was set to travel, she had terrible pain and was suddenly unable to walk. Her father had to come pick her up to take her to an ER, then had to carry her into the ER.
When she returned the next week from her time off, she informed me of the ER visit and told me that the doctors there, as well as her therapist agreed that the health issues all stemmed from stress.
I reiterated the need to go to HR and she agreed, but she was also still having difficulty walking. I offered to come pick her up when she would eventually be ready, and to help her with anything she needed. She insisted her apartment was a mess and she just needed a little time to recover and that she would let me know if she needed me.
Days later I spoke with her on the phone and despite having the same complaints about her boss, she seemed very optimistic. She told me she was feeling better, and had a plan to go to HR. We were even laughing about funny music before I got off of the call with her, and that was the last time I talked to her.
The next week, another co-worker called me and told me that she no call-no showed, and she never does that. I told the other co-worker I would meet with them at her apartment for a wellness visit.
We found her there, and honestly it was the worst day of my life.
I could not tell if it was self harm, or if she had slipped, or if maybe her recent health complications caused something. I could be completely mistaken and it could have been something unrelated health-wise.
What happened to her, while maybe not directly responsible, I do believe that the stress from work contributed to this. I also believe it's possible it was completely what caused this. I plan on going to HR to report all of this and to turn the recording over to them, but I also feel that this exceeds merely reporting to HR. I am trying to respect her family and give them peace, but I feel they deserve to know.
I can't let this stand and I need some guidance on how to navigate this situation the right way.
I am not trying to rush this and I am also hoping to find out if there is a medical examiner's report to confirm a cause of death.