Antiwork

I work remotely for an outsourcing company to these two companies – COM 1(A) and COM 2(B). My recruiter said if I pass COM 2, my rate will be B. But after I interviewed, the boss offered COM 1 with rate A (lower). I accepted but my recruiter persuaded the boss to transfer to COM 2. Boss approved and I passed COM 2. I placed rate B in the contract since I will work for COM 2. Sent to the boss and nothing being said. However, pay day came. The boss turned back and said my rate should be A because I am a new employee and I need to work to prove that I am working for 2 months (almost 2 months) then my rate will be B as his deal. I mentioned the contract and the boss didn't give a shit. Boss just kept mention that I agreed…

I'm applying for an entry-level care job that doesn't require experience or qualifications. However, I need my most recent employer as reference – and I had spoken about it in an interview as it was in a relevant area (nanny) to what I'm applying to. I left the family I was with on bad terms – the father assaulted me after 7mth workimg for them – admittedly he was drunk so it could have been worse. I emailed the mother for a reference but no reply. I was independent so there's no agency to help me – I didn't speak the language well either (this was in South America). I don't mind providing proof that it's an entry-level job without qualification requirements and even the texts between me + the mother in the aftermath of the incident. Just really need this job – I moved to England recently and rent…

That's not a rhetorical question. I can't cover my bills and the only reason I didn't starve was because a friend lent us money. I work 40 hours a week. The job is so awful I have panic attacks even thinking about it. But I can't quit because then I have no money for food and a place to live. I have family counting on me, I can't quit. Applying to jobs is difficult. All of the above stress plus everything happening right now. I try so hard and I can't make anything happen. I don't sleep and I don't eat. I barely have energy for daily tasks let alone a side job. I am not lazy, I don't want to die…. but I am so tired of struggling.