I am 20 years old, living on my own. I am planning to move into a van because i cant afford rent anymore.
I have 0 dollars in my bank account.
Whenever I work fulltime, my mental health decimates.
I was recently employed as a manager at a retail store. I quit because they expected me to come in unpaid to deal with their broken alarm system. Which often took an hour of my unpaid time, multiple days a week. And they hired me fulltime, but only gave me 20 hours a week.
I got my paycheck, paid rent, and thats all i could afford. No money for food.
In about 2 weeks, i will get my final paycheck, around $400.
I have a new job lined up already fulltime, which im sure i will also hate like every other job ive had.
I have been trying to market my art online, sell things I own, post and reach out about odd jobs. And to no avail.
I am not eligable for food stamps, I have no time to work on my van, i have no time to study a new skill, how am i supposed to get a job that pays better when i cant afford college or have time for a new skill.
And even then, working fulltime, even at a higher paying job, I will burn out like I always do.
Working an 8-5 everyday, eats away at my soul.
Im lost, im tired of not being able to afford food.
Im tired of having no time for myself.
What do i do? People just tell me to suck it up, or thats just being an adult.
Well fuck this? Im trying, i am autistic and adhd, and no it doesnt excuse me burning out. But its so hard to function and work like this. I just want to be able to exist, i dont even mind working part time, but i cant live off part time. And even fulltime its just enough to pay rent and then starve for the next two weeks.
I have other skills and things i am trying to market, but it doesnt work.
I dont have the time to get a higher education or skill set. And the little bit i do im so fucking exhausted and hungry that i just sleep. I barely even do the shit i enjoy anymore.
What do i do? Is there any getting out? I dont want to feel like a slave anymore. And im not trying to victimize myself, i understand much of it surely has to do with me. And many people are going through it. But i feel like im trying to the best of my ability, and im exhausted. Im scared. And sick of being so poor.
Additonally i know money doesnt equal happiness. Well money equals food. And food equals energy. And if i had more money maybe i could exist without starving and working my tail to death..im 20 and my back and legs hurt all the time from working.