Might not be the right sub but I wanted to still try.Have an undergrad in economics and masters in management. Both from top 50 schools. I was an international student in the countries that I studied in. However, I never really had a career path in mind. My first exposure to a job was an internship in Bangkok when I was 18 at a multinational financial services firm. Though there was not much work and I soon realised that I was not carved for the 9 to 5 I really loved the city and cherish the time that I spent there. I was happy. Soon after that I got back to Europe and secured an internship while at university at a fortune global top 50. The work was terrible. Excel sheets in the name of analytics all day long. I hated it and I quit within 3 months. I have long suffered from depression and anxiety and during my 3 months at the firm I gained 20 kgs. What was however working to my advantage in Europe was that I was the only Indian guy in my class and I felt unjudged. I was fairly fit and well groomed and got into decent circles with classmates who are all investment bankers or consultants. I was still happy and functional.
Fast forward to a lot of trips to the ER, depression, breakups, and anxiety issues, I got back to India. I ballooned to over 100kgs and was put on medication. During this time, it became unbearable for me to live at home and I joined a startup in Bangalore. Work was shit. 6 days a week. I started living for the weekend and drinking a lot alone on the weekend, a habit that I developed in college (not drinking alone but rather drinking to gain confidence and to feel happy). Pay in India was 250 euros a month and my parents used to support me. I used to live alone, no friends, no guidance about my career. My job involved the regular analytics tools; excel, ppt, some R etc. it was a retail startup.
Then Covid hit. I started exercising, it was a peaceful time in my life. I took a lot of courses online related to business analytics with R and Python, completed an online degree and got offered an internship at my dream firm but with a pay of 140 euros a month. Got off meds. Lost weight and felt happier though not completely fine. I soon realised that sitting in front of the laptop with your boss on your head was the problem for me. However my boss was impressed with my performance and after 6 months recommended me to an even better firm. Salary? 300 Euros a month. I joined the internship and my boss argued that since it was an internship in marketing and I had no prior experience in marketing they would train me hence 300 Euros made sense for a month for the next six months. I guess he was right and it is an opportunity that I regret shunning till this day. The firm was extremely prestigious (think MBB level prestige). Anyway fast forward 3 days. I quit my internship (mental health issues, body dysmorphia and hated the fact that I was getting paid so little while my friends were doing great)
I moved in back with my parents and worked towards an online masters degree. A year later I got a job in consulting at a big 4. Went to Mumbai. Worked there for a year. Couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle the city, the people, the office politics, the people living for the weekends. I hated making ppts all day long, just pasting info that I used to take from other sources. Additionally, I had paranoia of presenting to the clients. Couldn’t eat days before client ppts. I know a lot of people would say that the exposure was great and I got to work with tech and retail giants but living in India overall was shit. My parents were supporting me. I had no friends and I can’t get used to the culture of cut throat competition here. The quality of products is terrible. Food quality is terrible and eating healthy is expensive. I have hypertension (160/90 on most days) which automatically got resolved when I had moved to Europe and lived in Thailand. Pollution is horrible. People are not polite. Traffic is terrible. Society around me judges me for being educated abroad and I am a nervous wreck here.
Anyway that brings me to today. I have quit my job. Spent a week in Thailand a few days ago. Broke down at the airport. My dad had accompanied me. Came back, developed severe hypertension, cold, paranoia after the trip. I am 27 and don’t know where I am going. Got my bp monitored in Thailand as well. Everything was normal. I feel that I have no skills or hobbies that can make me money outside of the stuffy corporate environment. I dread having to move to Mumbai or delhi for a job again. Since I am at home, I have time to either upskill or head abroad for a second masters and try to find a job there. I need to have a clear vision about what skills I should pick up and what my day should look like for the next few months but I am lost. Been aimlessly taking python, SQL courses on data camp while battling my health issues but am wondering where they are going to lead me. Some friend suggested front end and he is working remotely from Bali after some online courses on UI/UX and front end. As I mentioned, I’m completely lost. I also understand that remote opportunities with an Indian passport might be extremely hard.