I recently quit my new job coming out of training, if it’s even called quitting before starting work, and for some reason I feel bad. It was a great job with good perks and benefits, however, the hours and schedule were long and limiting. No work life balance, just work. 12hr days 6 days a week for the first 2 years. Jobs these days seem like they just want to work people into the ground and drain every minute they can from a person.
For perspective, I’m (36m) single father with a bachelors in Communication and Information Sciences and prior military veteran. I started college late due to being active in the military for some time. For some reason I panicked and never returned to my new job. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that “this was it”, the job I’m investing in for the next 25 years. I left and I don’t really have a reason why I left other than reasons I came up with to justify my choice to make me feel better. I felt like I was wasting my degree but ultimately, my heart and mind weren’t aligned with the job. I didn’t feel enthusiastic about it even with the substantial pay I could possibly earn. It had guaranteed OT as well. The job just didn’t appeal to me at all. I felt like I could do better or find something that I’ll be somewhat comfortable with daily and in the long run.
So now I have feelings of guilt and shame for not following through with a job position I initially intended to do. I’m so ashamed that I haven’t even admitted it to my family yet. I don’t want to ruminate on their perceptions or judgements of me, even though I understand that it doesn’t matter what they think. This was totally a new situation that I’ve never experienced, so naturally it caught me off guard. I feel like I’m running out of time by thinking that I should be well established with a job at my age by now, but I’m not. I’m still searching. I plan on finding a job in radio or work my way up to be a radio personality. Is it ok to feel this way, shameful or regretful? Should finding a job be this complicated? I’m wondering if there are others out there like me or people that have experienced something similar.