I thought I was so smart to go and study back in 2008. Started with accounting cause “bottleneck”. Hated numbers and got ptsd from constant bad news on the economic crisis. That crap lasted for years. I switched to law and thought my degree would have me live comfortably and happy, doing what I love.
Developed serious illnesses, anxiety and depression. Quickly had no energy for jobs. Went on a trail of toxic jobs. I was so ashamed. I was often let go, or it was a temp job. I lied to my parents twice because I was embarassed that I could only last weeks at some jobs. I am so amazed at how agressive and miserable most people are in their jobs. They yell, lie, manipulate,… It makes me extremely anxious to get another job! Lost my last two jobs due to covid and the other one due to losing my mind and making a mistake. It was toxic anyway. Boss was schizo too. I felt suicidal. Only lasted 5 weeks.
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This all goes on top of failed relationships and illness. Been unemployed for 14 months now. There is not one institution that helps me. I am sorta looking for a part time where I won't get crippling depression.
I finally met a good man and i want marriage and children. Makes me want to give up the whole toxic life of work and be a happy housewife. Some say I won't like it but I love being unemployed and not feeling suicidal…
So instead of being a talented, motivated lawyer graduate, I am now an ambition-less, bitter unemployed bum and wannabe housewife full of hatred towards any job or organisation. They can all kiss my shiney ass and eat turds.