So, I lost my job in April. To make a long story short, I did not get along with my boss after she took all of my job responsibilities away and reduced me to menial tasks. I’ve been in my field for over 20 years and worked circles around her. She was so horrible to me and treated me like total shit, talking down to me, being condescending, laughing at my opinions.
It got so bad that it started to affect my physical and mental health. When I knew I had to meet with her, I had chest pains and hyperventilated. My anxiety was out of control, I couldn’t sleep, I had stomach aches constantly. I had to go on meds.
Getting fired came as a sort of relief and all of my physical and emotional issues stopped immediately. I am able to collect unemployment for 6 months, but it is not nearly what I was making. I need a full time job to be able to pay the bills and not run through my savings.
The problem is this: searching for a new job is traumatizing. I view every opportunity as a chance that I may have those same health issues again. I’m wondering if I have PTSD. I have reoccurring dreams about being treated so badly again.
Not only that, but the whole searching for a new job is demoralizing. I send hundreds of resumes and don’t hear anything. A recruiter calls me and all sounds positive, but I don’t hear back. I send over my portfolio and nothing. One company had me complete an assessment that took me over 8 hours, only to be told I did a great job but there are no current openings.
I feel like I just want to give up. I know it’s only been 2 months since I got fired, but I knew it was coming, so I’ve been looking for work for a long time. I’m feeling very depressed and doubting my self-worth.
Has anyone else through this? How did you cope?
Thanks for reading.