I work in IT in a pretty highly skilled position (network engineering). I've been doing it for many years and have kept up with the technologies, certifications, the constant hamster wheel of continual learning necessary for this job. For the most part I enjoy this type of work. But recently, the company I worked for went bankrupt and I, along with 400 other IT people (and 29,600 other employees) all had to hit the pavement and look for new employment.
I realize I'm in a much better spot than many people i worked with and I don't think I'll be unemployed for a long time, but goddam….this process is soul sucking, depressing, and makes me truly understand why a lot of people just give up.
Let go at the end of July, I immediately updated my resume and began applying for suitable positions. I found a lot out there and to date, racked up about 45 applications (and counting) over a month and a half. I had many network contacts too, that had positions available, but for one reason or another they all fell through. One was all sett to execute, but because the company just got bought and though the position was a perfect fit, all hiring external hiring was put on hold at the last second. Another was a great fit, but the company wouldn't hire a remote worker from the state in which I live, again found out by the time I had already begun speaking with their director. Others simply ghosted me, had pre-selected internal candidates, or never responded….many of the postings were for companies that (I feel) were posting to boost their own profile (to show how much they're growing by posting positions, but never hiring anyone). Others never made it past the algorithm.
One after another, almost all the positions have gone nowhere…except a few. One company reached out and I got a screening interview. It went well. Another interview was scheduled, this time to assess my technical abilities. I put on a shirt and tie, logged into the virtual meeting, and met with their existing team for the technical interview. Anyone who's done a technical interview knows how fucking stressful they are. But, it went well too, so a 3rd interview was scheduled. Again I put on a shirt and tie and met with the same group of people. Why the same group of people? Don't know. No technical questions and most people on the call were silent the whole time. But this interview went well enough that a 4th interview the director was scheduled. We spoke about the role and he tried to assess my posture and fit for the position. I assume this went well because I was asked for yet another, 5th interview. This time, the same group of engineers were on the call and more non-technical dialog. Basically asking everyone if they had any questions for me. Nobody really did so I asked more questions about their team, philosophy, needs, and wants, for the department. The meeting went well and I was told they'd reach out in 2 days with their decision. Then…..crickets. Nothing. After Thursday ended with no communication from them, I assumed that they made an alternate choice and were too cowardly, lazy, or aloof to tell me. I reached out by e-mail today and, in a professional manner (while trying not to vomit), expressed my continued interest and if they made a decision or were still in the process. Their staff recruiter sent me an e-mail that they “selected a different candidate” and were “very sorry”.
This, of course, pissed me off. Not that I didn't get the job…after all, it's just another corporate bullshit job and I'm sure I'll land another corporate bullshit job…but its because of the amount of time (4.5 weeks), energy, stress, ass kissing, sycophantic bullshit I had to portray, how much shit I've had to swallow…I can feel the bile in my throat rising as I type this….and in general just how much I feel I've had to prostitute myself just to get as far as I did in the process. My favorite question, “Why do you want to work here?” is so fucking stupid. Unless it's a job where you play with puppies all day, it's the money….I want to work here because you'll pay me.
All of this just makes me more cynical and angry about the whole employment process. I feel lucky to have the skills and resume points that make me employable, but I am out of work right now and living off $310 a week from unemployment puts a shit ton of pressure on me to gain new employment. I didn't do anything to lose my job other than bet on a losing horse. And this game…this soul sucking, life draining, crushing, grueling, and demeaning game where one has to grovel and subjugate themselves as much as possible just to get in the door, then eat heaps of shit pie and act like its ice cream when it all falls through? Fuck that noise. I can understand why people walk away from this shit. I can understand why people commit “un-aliving” when this happens.
I really love the type of work that I do. I really love the people I work with. I really love it when the fruits of my labor show tangible and beneficial results. That shit keeps me doing this work. The system we have now is just so fucking awful though, I can't wait till I can call it quits and get off this stupid hamburger train.