I didn't get employee of the year AGAIN and tbh although my coworker who I found out has won is a great worker, it feels like a slap in the face. I found out also I wasn't even in the top three choices yet I'm the sole reason my department gets stocked and finished. Literally, I'm solo. There's a small store party tomorrow where we'll get paid and also a $65 gift card and tbh i don't want to go just to look stupid and feel like I'm never enough. Am I being petty? Should I go?
Sidenote: my coworkers are cool and the bosses aren't terrible, bit pedantic and whiny but the environment is decent. I just feel like being the only poc (BF) there plays a part because we are scrutinized more for little things (research it if you don't believe me) and also the verbal thanks aren't hitting like they use to. Why am I not enough?