What a life.
I'm absolutely miserable. Every day I want to scream how much I hate this. I'm not even employed – I got laid off from a job I didn't particularly like, so now I'm fighting to get back into some other job I don't particularly like.
Every day… just refilling forms from my resume, getting ghosted, or not passing interviews. Just so I can… what, have my soul sucked out of me from a mediocre job? Why am I doing this? Why do I have to fight so hard for something I don't even really want?
This is the life? Constantly fighting for employment? Even if it get a job, its not going to be my forever job, so I'll have to be thrown back into the shitter of applying for jobs again. I HATE APPLYING FOR JOBS. How can I be competitive if I hate the whole system to its core? Companies seem to want to hire robots, not humans with limits and feelings. I know I'm going to get passed off, there's always going to be some candidate who's more passionate and can handle this bullshit. I can't. It's killing me.
I'm sick of constantly studying for certifications, constantly applying, constantly pretending I should be thankful. I don't want to be continually growing and pushing my limits. I WANT TO REST. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. 28 years of my life has just been dedicated to work and work and work and work and all I got out of it was being unemployed and unwanted. I'm not asking for a lot in life, I just want my needs met and live comfortably, and I can't even fucking do that.