The job wasn't good; I'm not upset losing that. I'm upset with being a doormat and not standing up for myself. It was one of those moments I wish I knew about Joshua Fluke or similar YouTube channels and this subreddit. This all happened four years ago, yet everything feels like it was yesterday.
My background is IT. My first boss at my first IT job is a really cool dude that always batted for me and had my back despite my lack of experience. I still talk to him sometimes to this day. However, the company was a complete dead end and I knew it was going to have to be upgraded sometime. The commute was also FUCKING HORRENDOUS. No matter what route you took, the traffic drove me mind.
So I get an interview for an IT position for the county. Good pay bump and the commute was light years better. However, I missed some pretty nasty red flags during the interview. First, there were way too many people interviewing me for my liking. It was my boss, her boss, their boss and someone from the department. Some may say that's normal, but for me I thought it was a bit odd. I remember I didn't ask enough of the hard questions either like why was the position open, etc.
SO they called back with the offer and here's the doozy: I had to tell them a couple times I had to give a two weeks notice. They eventually complied. So I do my two weeks and I start the new job.
Every thing started off okay, but the guy that trained me looked like and smelled like a zombie warned me about the management and to “watch my back”. The system engineer also warned me about them. I was a young dumb simp that figured “oh everyone complains about their job!”
A few weeks later the trainer vanished. We get an email from the director (my boss's boss's boss) saying the guy and the employer “mutually agreed to part ways”. The system engineer and I chatted and he told me they've been targetting the guy for a long time. And the guy I replaced? He left because he got fed up with the management. Despite the obvious red flags that are screaming at me to just leave, I stayed.
Then the hostility started.
Once they fired the Zombie, all of a sudden my boss started getting snippy towards me. During down time I liked to watch YouTube videos to learn how to Powershell and other things. She said “You do it all day!”…because there were no tickets coming in and I wasn't being delegated any work. She'd rather me sweep and do busy work than trying to up my skills. Despite THAT red flag, I still stayed and tried to learn to play her game.
Then the hostility REALLY started to heat up. In my six months there, I was late once due to a really bad thunderstorm that flooded my usual route. She pulls me aside and tells me “Next time pick a better route!”. That was my opportunity to say “I have a better idea: I'll pick a better job”. But sadly, I didn't. I let her trample over me.
Then she started documenting everything. The micromanagement was getting unbearable and I was becoming extremely depressed and unmotivated. Practically every week, sometimes on a Friday, she'd pull me in, say I suck and say “I'm concerned about you making it past probation”. I could have just quit right there and take my dignity back, but stubborn younger me foolishly thought he could overcome the PIP and keep the job.
By August, after all the BS, she pulls me into the office with her two buddies where they fired. I basically walked out like a dog with its tail between its legs. Right before I left, the system engineer came to my car and gave me his number and said I could use him as a reference.
Years later I stumble upon Josh's YT channel and it was the wake up call I needed. Even though I have this newfound confidence and I'm not afraid of douchey employers, I still look back and I can't help but feel completely ashamed of myself for not standing up for myself and letting myself take on that level of toxicity.
Never again.