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suspended for repeating managements words back to them

Looking to vent and get some advice. TLDR; management told us they would use public humiliation against us, while one of them shouted “shame shame shame” at us. I repeated these words to him after finding him in violation of an important company policy, followed by ‘doesn’t feel so great does it?’. He told me to leave or he would call the police. I refused and stayed for my the remainder of my shift. I have now been suspended from any upcoming shifts. I work at a large music venues in a small state. I've worked several different positions there since early 2019. When we opened back up after COVID, the venue hired a new General Manager who turned out to be drunk most of the time. The owners hired a human resources manager for the first time since I had worked there, and I spoke with her several times…


Looking to vent and get some advice. TLDR; management told us they would use public humiliation against us, while one of them shouted “shame shame shame” at us. I repeated these words to him after finding him in violation of an important company policy, followed by ‘doesn’t feel so great does it?’. He told me to leave or he would call the police. I refused and stayed for my the remainder of my shift. I have now been suspended from any upcoming shifts.

I work at a large music venues in a small state. I've worked several different positions there since early 2019. When we opened back up after COVID, the venue hired a new General Manager who turned out to be drunk most of the time. The owners hired a human resources manager for the first time since I had worked there, and I spoke with her several times regarding the drunk GM's conduct. He was eventually fired/stepped down, and the HR manager was instated as the interm GM. When it was announced that she would be taking over as full time GM, I met with her and the CFO (owners refused to be at the meeting) regarding the need for a separate HR position. They disagreed and things continued.

Fast forward to the end of last summer, and they hire a new Assistant General Manager. He seems fine at first but there have been several incidents between him and other staff members throughout the past ~10 months he has worked with us.

To set the stage a bit – this manager once put his hands on and shoved an employee while telling him to “stand up and look like you give a shit about your job” during a pre show security meeting. He once stole money from me and lied about why in 3 different ways. I am a bartender, and at full capacity the venue can run 3 separate bars at a time. Each bar is responsible for their own “bank.” He first told me that my bank was short money, and when I told him that I had double checked it and asked more questions, he told me the bank from the bar I had worked was short the night before. After escalating the issue to the GM, he told me that the bank at a different bar that night was short. He was eventually required to repay the money he had stolen from me. The GM let me know later that none of the banks had been short that night or the night before.

This brings us to now. Obviously, I don't trust or like this man. I care a lot about the incredibly hardworking people at this venue and won't stand for anyone who treats us with anything but the utmost respect. We are nearly all part time employees who work other full time jobs, and many of the staff are college students working their first real jobs. We work long, hard hours, often underpaid, in less than ideal conditions. We do it because we love creating a space for people to have the time of their lives seeing musicians they love.

During an all staff meeting a few months ago, the GM asked all staff who hadn't completed a sexual harrassment training to stand up in front of the rest of the staff. She told us she would be using public humiliation to get us to do it. The assistant general manager, sitting next to her, proceeds to shout “Shame, shame shame” at us.

I work in the human services field at a therapeutic school for high schoolers with serious trauma backgrounds. I spend a lot of my work life having people speak poorly to me and meeting them with unconditional positive regard. At the venue, we are all adults, and I will not allow myself or the other staff to be spoken to this way. I shot my hand up into the air and asked them when the last time they had notified us about the training was. I knew the answer – about a year ago at the last all staff meeting. They had sent us a few emails about it in the following months, but it had been at least 8 months since anything was said about it.

The GM avoided responding to my question directly and instead started talking about how it was important to do this training because it will help us understand perspectives of others (the irony!). Another lower level manager, who I have worked under since the day I started there and in my opinion should be running the whole venue, chimed in that the last time this would have come up was around the time of the last all staff meeting. The conversation continued and I connected with several of my coworkers after about how inappropriate it was for management to speak to us this way.

A few weeks later, the GM sent out information on completing the sexual harassment training. I responded her thanking her for following up with information about the training, and stating that I felt it was extremely inappropriate for management to speak to their staff this way. She took 9 days to respond, and when she did, it was vague and unclear. I responded that I had said my piece and asked what she was looking for in a follow up conversation (see photo). She never responded to my email.

This past Friday, I am working a shift and the Assistant General Manager is the manager on duty. At one point, he comes to stand behind the bar for several minutes, taking photos and videos of the band. Another part of our staff meeting had involved the marketing manager reminding us all of the contracts we had signed when starting our jobs there, stating that we were prohibited from taking photos or videos of the bands during shifts. I approached the manager and asked if he was still allowed to take photos and videos of the band from back here, and he said “yea” and walked away. A while later, I was walking through the backstage after emptying the recycling bins outside. I find the assistant GM rifling through some things in the kitchen. I walk up to him and say “shame, shame, shame, doesn’t feel so great does it?” and continue to walk back to the bar. He follows me behind the bar and tells me I need to go home. I refuse and he tells me if I won’t leave that he will contact the police. I tell him to go right ahead and to let me know when they get here so I can talk with them. 

I continue working and when he leaves, I find a quiet place to have a 5 minute panic attack. I then call the general manager to let her know what is going on. She tells me that I need to go home and that she doesn’t understand what happened. I tell her what happened and she continues to tell me to go home. I tell her that I am not going home and that I can give her a call back when the police arrive. I go back down to continue my shift, before sending her a passive aggressive text saying that none of the 3 general managers or countless other managers I’d worked under at the venue would have ever addressed the staff that way. She responds saying that she is driving in to the venue to talk. She lives about an hour away and the show was ending, so I tell her not to bother and that I was not staying past my shift to talk to her. She asks if there are any witnesses I would like her to interview, and I respond by saying anyone who attended the staff meeting where they spoke to us that way. I documented everything that had happened that night from my perspective, and emailed it to both the GM and assistant GM. I stated that if they had a different perspective of what had happened, they should inform me in that email thread. I never received a response. 

Many of the managers were set to attend a conference in another strate the morning after that shift, and I was informed the assistant general manager ended up not going. My bar manager called me on Tuesday letting me know that upper management was requiring him to take me off any upcoming shifts. I followed up with an email to him, the GM, and the CFO, recounting the events briefly and asking for written explanation as to which policies I had violated that led to a suspension. The GM responded that due to the ‘severity/disruption of the recent event,’ I was suspended until she could return from the conference and review the situation more carefully. I again asked which policies I had violated and if the Assistant GM was being penalized for his behavior as well. This was about an hour ago and I am waiting on a response.

I have been in touch with a legal aid organization in my state, as well as having inquiries out to the Department of Labor and a private attorney. Do you think I have any chance at a harassment case? Any advice?

Edited for formatting

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