Them: Well you signed xyz so… you aren't entitled to this per the agreement
Me: Yeah but that's just a piece of paper it has nothing to do with me and you
Them: Well it's an agreement that you signed with terms and conditions. Also you need to do a, b, and c
Me: Can I see that agreement? Since we're playing that game does it say I have to do this
Them: It does that is part of the terms of the agreement that you signed
Me: Sure, I signed it but it's just a piece of paper and it also says you can terminate me whenever you want for whatever reason – so again to me it's meaningless.
Them: well it means something to me…
Me: But sure I'll do a,b and c but not because of the paper but because I'll be good to you if you're good to me. See no problems! 🙂
The amount of power you rip away from these people when you tell them that the piece of paper that says “UOME I do wot I want” is meaningless and that what you're doing you're doing because it's good business and what a decent human being would do… it changes the dynamic. Seriously, confront any exploiter this way agree to their demands but make it very clear that bringing up the contract has done nothing more than breed resentment. Further, make it clear that they are welcome to their magic piece of paper with its list of demands, but that you don't care at all and just say you subscribe to the principles of human decency, fair and good business.
If you think it won't work it will. Because when you're being exploited that means they're profiting off you – hence, anything that causes you to walk away is a guaranteed net loss, they also know that courts and lawyers are expensive and even if they win you're unemployed, the money is gone, the work isn't done. What will they do? Try to replace you with someone raised like a religious peasant in the dark ages who goes “Ohhh nooo don't blasphemy the magic contract didn't you know god himself wrote these employment/lease agreement, I'd better get scrubbing in case god gets angry!”
Here is how to handle these conversations formulaically when dealing with an authority figure who's holds leverage over you
Example: refuse to engage in the conversation with phrases like again just like the magical contract I don't care about you're special printed tokens that you pay me with. I am not interested in semantics, I am not interested in percentages and deals, my problems are this, this, and this and I have tried everything to solve this and I am done I just can't anymore… This is no longer my problem – there is an onus on you now to fix this or else… well I'm undecided I was hoping that I could come to you and vent and you as a leader/boss/~~total scumbag fu*hea…~~* landlord and see if you can help me help you because I am trying but I just can't anymore.
The formula:
1) I see you bought a set of rules for this game. Well I reject that entirely. No deferring to an inanimate object to prove your point. Similarly I am ready to reject your tokens (they'll come in prepared to berate you about clause 69.420 – the go suck yourself peasant pig, and with dollar figures, the moment you reject that game entirely you've negated all their preparation. Further their only leverage is a piece of paper, literally, a piece of paper that says “do this” or “$1”. Everything meaningful, value producing, the working part of the machine is you).
2) Pre-empt them turning this into a power contest – see if you challenge their authority it'll anger them and give them a point they want to prove. Instead acknowledge their superior status and authority over you – tell them you're smarter than me, in charge, know more than me, are worth more than me, you're the big boss and I respect you. But why would you do this? Because now instead of them setting out to dominate you to impose their authority, they're in a position where you are basically saying – oh yeah you are Mr Big Nuts like you claim… unless you can't help me? You aren't smarter than me? You can't help? Nuts not so Big? Basically put them in a position where they don't have to fight for the authority, put them in a position where they will lose all respect and authority if they fail to meet expectations – this is very scary for them.
3) Tell them that you have tried and tried and you're too tired. Pre-empt the bootstraps conversation and make it clear that you're already emotionally defeated and you aren't interested in fixing this yourself anymore. Very important this is a good way of communicating that they won't talk you into tolerating whatever the situation is any longer. Telling them that this is no longer your problem and the onus is on them to try and help is key because it sets a ticking clock and gives them no demands. They aren't dumb they know how to help you, what they want is out of 10 workers only 2 complain, then of those 2 whiners they'll bully one into silence. The final one will issue a demand like I want a $10 000 raise – which they'll then go “ummm ahhhh hmmm idk… how about $5000?” It is very important that you make it clear that there are no specific demands and given how the whole “the A4 page orders you to!” conversation went, they'd better not low ball you or make an offensive offer. This is business and they must win your continued business.
4) Make it clear that talking to them is the current step but by no means the last with that said this needn't go further than it has to. You know what these authority figures/bosses/landlords are terrified of? Losing control. That's what the money and the contracts are about – control or at least the sense of it. If you bring in a lawyer, or it goes to court, or they can't practically enforce it. They have lost control. Even worse whatever happens next will be public to some extent. The entire workforce will see the show, legal fees, senior management coming in from head office to ask “why the fuck am I here? You're paid to run this place and they're in open revolt. You are fucking fired once I unfuck this” and god help them if the media or politicians get involved. That's why this part is important – they're not your last hope – this is their last chance to work with you before it is out of their hands and who knows what comes next.
5) in conclusion cut the bullshit with the paper -> you're the boss/lord/master and since you've made it clear you can control my life I'd assume you can make it better otherwise you're a powerless bully -> tell them that this is the end of all constructive efforts on your end and after this whatever happens will probably cost lots of money and suck for everyone involved -> it's okay if you can't help me, that's okay I'll bring in another power to take control of your little empire
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Thank you for coming to my Ted talk on how to effectively threaten and terrify authority figures without breaking any rules. Now if you wish to show your appreciation – DON'T BE A FUCKING TRAITOR – USE THESE SKILLS TO GET A BETTER DEAL FOR YOUR TEAM NOT JUST YOURSELF
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