Reflecting on my present circumstances and future prospects, I find it impossible to justify enduring the challenges I currently face. Work fills me with dread, and the little time left in the evenings and weekends doesn't seem worth the effort.
It's not that I actively dislike my job; rather, it just takes an excessive amount of my lifetime. I wouldn't mind it if I still consistently had time for my family, friends, hobbies, basic household tasks, or simply doing nothing once in a while. I shouldn't have to plan my weekends down to the hour just to achieve a fraction of what I wish I had time for.
Part-time work isn't a viable option either, as the pay is barely enough to survive while working full-time. Starting a family in my current situation seems like an unattainable dream, and that's especially frustrating when considering that my company, which isn't even that large, generates MILLIONS in profit.
It's not normal to fantasize about becoming disabled just to escape the hell that is work. It's not fucking normal. I shouldn't be seriously contemplating if a life with a disability and without work would be better than my healthy life wasted in an office.
Kind of unrelated, but the state of the planet is also extremely concerning. It's impossible for me to look at the future with an optimistic mindset. The rest of my life is going to be AT BEST as bad as it already is.