Categories
Antiwork

The weirdest and most infuriating interview process ever. I’m absolutely LIVID.

My husband lost his job in May of this year. He's had over 25 interviews, many of them kind of odd, but NONE of them were this insane. For context, this is a content specialist position for a self-education company. They're a start-up. My husband has three solid years of marketing/content creation experience. He's done a little bit of everything. I'm not even sure what you'd call this other than cruel and unusual punishment for the ungodly sin of being alive. Here's the order of events: Recruiter call goes well, yippee. Zoom interview with direct supervisor, goes really well! Awesome, cool. In-person interview with direct supervisor and a couple other people. Goes really well, is told he's the top candidate. Surprise! Another in-person interview. Who the fuck knows why. Here's where it gets REALLY weird. First half of the interview goes really well, as usual. Talks with HR and direct…


My husband lost his job in May of this year. He's had over 25 interviews, many of them kind of odd, but NONE of them were this insane. For context, this is a content specialist position for a self-education company. They're a start-up. My husband has three solid years of marketing/content creation experience. He's done a little bit of everything.

I'm not even sure what you'd call this other than cruel and unusual punishment for the ungodly sin of being alive. Here's the order of events:

  1. Recruiter call goes well, yippee.
  2. Zoom interview with direct supervisor, goes really well! Awesome, cool.
  3. In-person interview with direct supervisor and a couple other people. Goes really well, is told he's the top candidate.
  4. Surprise! Another in-person interview. Who the fuck knows why. Here's where it gets REALLY weird. First half of the interview goes really well, as usual. Talks with HR and direct supervisor who hints at some “news” that they want to tell him, but never tell him…? Anyway. After some time, two other guys enter the interview. One is head of marketing, the other is someone else that he doesn't remember what he does. Here are some of the highlights of what the Other Guy did during this interview:
    – BOWED upon entering the room. It wasn't like a cultural thing, he was just being fucking weird.
    – started the interview by asking my husband what “joy and delight” means to him.
    – consistently spoke over and interrupted my husband and other participants.
    – stood for the whole time at a podium at the front of the room. Other Guy is NOT the CEO by the way and we can't find him on LinkedIn, so we don't know what exactly he does.
    – clearly didn't read my husband's resume and didn't understand what the role was because he kept asking direct supervisor what the role was and how his skills align with the role
    – literally asked my husband if he's ever held a professional job before!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCK?????????????? MY HUSBAND IS 24 NOT 15!!! HE HAS 3 YEARS OF PROFESSIONAL WORK EXPERIENCE!!!
    – whenever my husband spoke, he would interrupt and say “woah buddy, calm down… slow down, don't get too excited”. My husband has a naturally projecting voice and can speak a little fast sometimes, but that's just the way he is.
    – looked like a naked mole rat because he was bald and his features were “especially rodent-like” according to my husband.
    – whenever he asked a question about the role, he wouldn't direct it to my husband. He'd ask the other participants ABOUT my husband while he was sitting right in front of him. Things like “I feel like this guy doesn't take criticism well, he was just talking about joy and delight. We need someone who's not positive all the time…” and “he was in marketing, how is he fit for this content specialist role??” and “he seems like he's just going to leave because he's creative and he'll probably just get bored” LIKE BITCH IF YOU JUST READ HIS RESUME!!!!!! and what the fuck is up with all the assumptions??????? how the fuck does he know he's just going to leave????????????????? WTF!!!
    – eventually my husband got a word in edgewise and addressed his concerns. he seemed quelled after that.
    – the best part: NOBODY SAID ANYTHING!!! Nobody tried to steer the conversation back to my husband. Nobody said anything after the interview. We were genuinely wondering if it was some sort of act or test.

Anyway so in the end, he didn't get the job! WOOHOO!!! YAY!!! The rejection email might as well come from Other Guy himself. It was full of assumptions like “we think you're looking for something else” LIKE BITCH HE'S LOOKING FOR ANY FUCKING JOB AT THIS POINT HOLY FUCK.

It makes no fucking sense because up until Other Guy came along, they were very excited about him and positive. He was a “top candidate” for fuck's sake. They also had that “news” for him, which I guess we'll never know what it was.

I'm filled with unadulterated, unbridled rage. Fuck this shit. Fuck my life. Fuck everything. But especially fuck that bald, naked mole rat man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *