Today I reached the conclusion that many privileged people are not simply dicks like I used to think, but they are just out of touch. In other words, they don't know what it is like to be unprivileged which causes them to say and act in a way that may look like what I described before. I am not rich but I do consider myself privileged cause I grew up in a country with free healthcare and an education system and scholarships (I am studying in the US currently). I have a friend back from my country with a similar background, let's call him Nate, he's also studying in the US with me. A few days ago we jokingly had a conversation about Nate wanting to be a “business guy”, I assume he wants to own a business and make a shitload amount of money, which is the dream for many obviously:
Me: “Oh yeah that sounds awesome, you can buy a house in every state in the US lol”
Nate: “yeah that's my dream”
Me: “I know a friend who has been treated like shit at one of his jobs, I hope you will be a good boss lol”
Nate: “who knows maybe I wanna treat people like shit. lol lol jk hhhh”
Me: “…..”
I didn't think anything of this conversation but today the conversation of tipping came cause I tipped 10$ for a 40$ ish meal and he got visibly upset but didn't say anything. Later, in our room, he started a conversation and it went something like this:
Nate: “I don't tip because it doesn't make sense, idk why you gave that much, I tip 10% only and that's ONLY assuming that the service was above excellent, and I have the cash”
Me: “That's not how it works, there are people that depend on those tips”
Nate: “Why are you fueling a system where people must tip so others can live, that's wrong”
Me: “I am NOT fuelling it, there are people out there that might die if you don't tip them, you don't know what it is like, each person has a different life that comes with its responsibilities, and those jobs don't pay enough”
Nate: “IF THEY DON'T PAY ENOUGH THEN THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN IT”
Me: “NOT EVERYONE HAS THE ACCESS TO EDUCATION OR SKILLS THAT WILL GIVE THEM A SHOT AT HIGHER JOBS”
Nate: “Listen to me and please don't interrupt until I finish. I read a book about financial power and I realized that people are just financially illiterate. They need help. But more money isn't the solution, and it definitely shouldn't come out of my pocket because some idiots don't know that they shouldn't paint their nails or buy Netflix when they need healthcare. Also, minimum-wage jobs are temporary, they are used to save up for education or other opportunities that will help them get better jobs. I am done, you can talk now.”
Me: “Okay, so first, idk what book you read but that argument is incomplete because it builds it with the assumption that the money is there, but it's just not being used correctly, which is totally wrong. Most people don't buy Netflix or paint their nails and still end up more broke than they were in the previous month. Second, did you say that those jobs are temporary?”
Nate: “Yes”
Me: “Then tell me, what's gonna happen when that temporary employee leaves?! Is the store gonna shut down?! The answer is no, because it still needs an employee, meaning that the position is not temporary because you need your Starbucks coffee every morning and you need an employee there to fill that position. A minimum-wage job is not a temporary place where you stop for a while to get some savings for your trip to better things, but its a place where you barely survive and become more broke each month because the system is built that way”
Nate: “And my tips are gonna help? lol they won't. Even if those tips help those people survive, they won't use them to save up for better opportunities”
Me: “Not tipping people just because they MIGHT NOT be saving it is a HORRIBLE THING TO DO. AND I HOPE FOR DEAR GOD THAT YOU DON'T OWN A BUSINESS ONE DAY”
Nate: “People always make sacrifices and they get it to work, they will land on their feet alive, it's not your responsibility to worry”
Me: “You're right, they are making sacrifices about skipping meals, not going to the hospital, not seeking mental help, etc. Good argument bro”
Nate: “I am sticking to my opinion”
……
I am sorry this was long, and if you even stuck around for that long. I don't have many friends, and he was one of the few that actually got me through some shit in life, I lost a lot of respect for him today. I just needed to vent and I didn't know where to go. Do you know what's weirder? Is that when I asked him if you consider yourself to be privileged or not, he said no. Wtf. I just…don't know what to do. Let's just all pray together that he doesn't get to own a business or procreate kids with the same ideology.