I've been with this company since March. The first day I started, a male coworker tried to position himself as my manager. Confused, I asked my manager if this person was also my manager; explained the circumstances. He said no, but you will work closely together.
Since that day, this coworker has treated me terribly. Calling my work stupid; things I write stupid. When he gives me feedback, it's always negative and non-constructive. Literally just bashing everything to the point it overwhelms me and I tell him to just do the work. Treating me like an intern by asking me to do random tasks that have nothing to do with my job (I shut this down pretty quickly.) He tries to talk over me and my opinions constantly. In meetings, he acts as if he's my manager, tries to assign me tasks. I've shot down everything along the way, started keeping serious distance and avoiding him when I can. Every step of the way, this man has been a problem.
The last project he managed was so bad that my coworker quit. She told me right before she took medical leave and left that she couldn't stand doing another project with this guy as it's always a mess. I didn't pry, but I got the feeling he was being the same way toward her, too.
Well, this guy and I are on a new project together. And he was asked to give feedback on something I wrote from day one. This man had this doc in front of him for WEEKS. He gave three separate rounds of feedback. Most of it negative. I tried to get more information from him and fix the critiques. Once all the edits were in, the project manager signed off and said we're ready for development.
What happens the next day?
This guy sends me a ping at 5:30pm, right as I'm about to head out for the day. Says he and the VP took time out to critique my work. He was aggressive with the send. I sat there like great, this is going to be another barrage of negative bullshit. But more importantly wtf, you had WEEKS of feedback that you already gave me; that I resolved. I literally copy and pasted words verbatim from his feedback so I knew if he was critically critiquing my work going forward, he was just being a dick.
I read the comments. He and the VP were bashing my work left and right. I've never been at a company that uses the word “stupid” so often, towards people and their ideas. It continues to blow my mind.
Of course I stick up for myself by dropping a line in a public channel to say the feedback makes it seem like a lot is wrong and we may need to change direction, and that I'm disappointed / confused as we had just signed off on this being in development. I told them I'm not going to make the edits anymore, this guy will as his feedback isn't specific and most of the comments are on the words he gave me to verbatim insert into the doc; he's now giving feedback on his own words and I don't want to go in circles as it's easier for him, the source, to correct his own feedback.
What does my manager do? Puts me in an AM meeting to reprimand me for NOT THANKING this person for their feedback, as we should be thankful they take the time out to give feedback. Even after I told him how this person treated me; mentioned how they've treated me in the past.
The entire conversation he kept telling me my feelings are valid, but I need to thank these people first. And that I should be thankful they're taking the time. That they're closest to the source. That I'm defensive and shouldn't feel like any negative feedback will reflect poorly on me.
Absolutely ignoring this man's constant, awful approach toward women. Keep in mind this is the same man who interjected himself in a conversation a few of us women (there are only few of us, and all new hires have been white men… shocker) at the company were having when Barbie came out. We were talking about the commentary around patriarchy, and how that can translate into the workplace. Dude steps in to say, “I hope no one feels that way here at X company.”
Cherry on top of this whole new project feedback scenario? My manager after our meeting, while I was away, went and dropped what came off as a public apology, written as if we sat down and wrote it together, to this man and the VP. Essentially saying thank you, we value feedback.
I want to quit this place so badly.