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Antiwork

Unrelenting suspicion/paranoia about work in general?

*sorry this is so long* Seeing if anyone else in this group feels the same way or understands. I am a 31-year old female and I've been working in project and ops management for the past 9 years. My first big girl job was at a small marketing/branding agency. It was your typical “work hard play hard” environment that employed a lot of young people straight out of college at extremely low salaries. I was pressured to do a lot of not-so-great things to make our clients happy and eventually I was pushed to the edge when my supervisor kept pressuring me to commit fraud. I quit abruptly and moved on. Ever since then, with almost every employer or freelance client I've had, I've found myself being asked to either witness or be complicit in things that go against my values (or the law). So much to the point that…


*sorry this is so long* Seeing if anyone else in this group feels the same way or understands. I am a 31-year old female and I've been working in project and ops management for the past 9 years. My first big girl job was at a small marketing/branding agency. It was your typical “work hard play hard” environment that employed a lot of young people straight out of college at extremely low salaries. I was pressured to do a lot of not-so-great things to make our clients happy and eventually I was pushed to the edge when my supervisor kept pressuring me to commit fraud. I quit abruptly and moved on.

Ever since then, with almost every employer or freelance client I've had, I've found myself being asked to either witness or be complicit in things that go against my values (or the law). So much to the point that I've started to wonder if I'm just *looking* for issues or making them up. Then I tell people some of the stories and they are always like, “what the hell” or in disbelief of my working conditions.

Two examples recently. I am finishing out a 6 month contract being an operational manager/consultant for a virtual health and wellness company. Their providers (doctors, NPs, PAs) basically tell people not to eat to lose weight. Every day I read their messages to their patients encouraging them to eat less than 500 calories a day and push themselves to the limit to lose weight. I am asked to push weight loss drugs on anyone who calls our office line, even if they are at a low bmi. That's just one out of about 57 things that caused me to tell them I would not like to continue my contract with them. The owner also started asking about my weight every single day, knowing I'm a larger person, to the point where I was begging him to stop and crying daily.

I have also picked up a part time side job helping out with a small local catering company for the holidays. I've worked three shifts with them already, and then owner keeps making excuses why she hasn't added me to the payroll. I haven't been paid yet and I don't know when I will be.

Ok so….self awareness time… part of me is like – maybe this is the way it is. Maybe it's normal that jobs will have aspects that you don't like, and I can learn to accept that. Maybe jobs are always a little bit messy. But also, what the hell? Is it so crazy to expect employers to pay you properly and not break the law or be outright immoral?

Just to tie it back to the post title – now I feel like I'm suspicious (and maybe a bit paranoid) that every job I have will be like this. It's frustrating and sad. Thanks for listening.

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