Hello all,
I need some insight or advice on how I should approach this kind of problem I'm facing.
I'm currently 29 and recently accepted a new job offer two months ago that I thought would be a change for the better. Unfortunately, I was dead wrong. I've never felt so drained in my life. From the first day onward, I found myself arriving home from work, completely unable to unwind and have fun. I'm already at my wit's end and it's two months in. This has never happened to me before, and I've held multiple full-time jobs before where this was not the case for me. I'm just looking for insight and advice if possible.
I really don't want this to reach my management, so I'm going to be as vague as possible about the job's industry. It's an industry I am new to, and management was made aware of that in my interview. They said sure, no problem, we'll teach. While I'm a big supporter of 'the best way you'll learn is by doing,' this company is so disorganized and it doesn't help that the people teaching me just assume I have a base level knowledge of this industry and so I am often left confused. I'm SOL a lot of the time so I feel as though I am always scraping by. I do express this issue with people training me and to be honest I'm just glad I have ADHD – I feel it is the reason why I pick up on new things very fast. I also feel that showing that I am this competent to be able to pick up all of these responsibilites was my biggest mistake. I just simply don't know how to work at less than 90-100% of my ability – which might be a big component of this problem. In general though, I am insanely surprised that this company is as disorganized as it is, because it is the biggest in the industry by far compared to any other competitor.
However this is where shit hits the fan – I had two managers I techinically reported to. One was in the state below me but where I work, we are really close to that state's border. The manager I directly reported to works in the same office as me. That first manager – the one in the other state – abruptly left one day and all of his responsibilities trickled down to the team, which is 3 of us – the person who works in my position in the other state, me, and the manager i directly reported to. We have two others we work with, but their responsibilities remain unchanged.
This other person who also is in my position, since day 1, has been encouraging my manager to just dump her load on to me which is the most unrealistic thing ever. I'm competent but I'm not a god. I also caught this person, during my first week complaining about having to make the travel up to my office to train me, and how they 'had to learn it all themselves,' so I already had a bad taste in my mouth from this person. Regardless, I still speak and operate with this person as a team.
Because of all of the work falling on to us, we are now being required to work rotating Saturday shifts. I am freaking out. I do not have a car and am grateful I do not need one, and that I am a short walk away from my office but with my situation currently, I feel like Saturdays might already push me past the edge. I can't even unwind on weekends anymore. I'm just broken at this point.
I'm a big gamer, have been since I was 4, so I have a group of friends I play with. I've been missing for these two months and my friends are starting to express their concern for me. I am a keyboard hobbyist as well and my friends in that community have been blowing me up lately and I just. feel as though I have NO TIME anymore to even indulge in my interests.
Sorry for the long winded post – but what do I even do. Job market is so trash right now and I feel as though I'll be in this hell for quite a while longer while trying to apply elsewhere. So tempted to quit right now but I'd be SOL on all my bills and rent.