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“We made record profit! Expect to be laid off” – CEO

Just got an email in my mailbox. Here are the exact words : “We continued to see strong performance and solid profitability in the third quarter of 2023, while also delivering record cash flow for the company. While full year revenues are at the high end of our expectations, we are seeing signs of moderating demand in some markets and are taking steps to reduce costs and position the company for success in 2024. I am proud to announce this quarter several promotions on my leadership team to continue capturing the opportunities ahead of us and successfully navigate our exciting and changing future. I am deeply appreciative of your collective efforts to innovate for our customers, demonstrate the flexibility required to meet global demand, and take measurable steps toward reducing costs and improving inventory.” Translation : Record profit! Yay! Btw! I gave a promotion to all of my inner-circle friends.…


Just got an email in my mailbox. Here are the exact words :

“We continued to see strong performance and solid profitability in the third quarter of 2023, while also delivering record cash flow for the company. While full year revenues are at the high end of our expectations, we are seeing signs of moderating demand in some markets and are taking steps to reduce costs and position the company for success in 2024. I am proud to announce this quarter several promotions on my leadership team to continue capturing the opportunities ahead of us and successfully navigate our exciting and changing future. I am deeply appreciative of your collective efforts to innovate for our customers, demonstrate the flexibility required to meet global demand, and take measurable steps toward reducing costs and improving inventory.”

Translation :

Record profit! Yay!

Btw! I gave a promotion to all of my inner-circle friends.

Also, we'll need to keep costs to absolute minimum so start memorizing your social insurance number.

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