For the last few months, every morning before work, I sit and read the posts on here. Not because they make me feel better, but they remind me I’m not alone.
Because like all of you, I’ve been in a cycle of terrible, toxic, dehumanizing work environments that stress culture and family and deliver nothing but pain, abuse, and harassment.
Today was one of the worst that I’ve had and I hope that if anybody is feeling as low as me tonight sees this, they know I feel for them. Relate to them. And am rooting for them.
So what happened to leave me crying in the bathroom for the first time in 10 years?
Unbeknownst to this individual who is not the CEO but is related to the owner of the company/married to somebody high up, I have access to my boss’s email. I’ve only been there 6 weeks and was informed during the interview and my first few weeks this would be a “add on tasks as we go” role being that this is more of a start up company, with lots of needs that just are not quite determined yet.
During my first 6 weeks, I’ve taken on everything asked and offered to help daily with anything that may be needed even if I was unsure how to do it. Instructions given have always been vague at best, and downright not communicated more often then not despite me expressing in the interview that I really didn’t want to leave my last position for somewhere that didn’t stress that training, continual education, and communication were key aspects of the business. Of course, they promised me that this was all of the utmost importance.
The not-CEO but thinks they are basically told my boss verbatim that I’m a misallocation of resources because I have the LUXURY to sit silent in a meeting and that I couldn’t even handle a fifteen minute administrative task that was asked of me. The email basically seemed like an implication that I should be termed.
Let me break this apart as to why this was said about me:
I was asked to take and pass notes along at a meeting between some of the leads. I am unfamiliar with the status of every project in every department because that’s 1) not my job and 2) I literally started with the company 6 weeks ago. I was told to set up the meetings, relay the minutes. This whole meeting was basically the not-CEO berating everyone, almost in tears, because nobody was following their plan- which I have never been given access to-or asking for their help. They claimed to be working 14 hour days- online presence says otherwise but whatever- and basically everyone was just kind of awkward and silent while being berated. I was asked to stay on the call, where not-CEO read me 80 words of disorganized notes from their notebook and just asked me to type up and send over. I did.
I also have tons of experience in writing. Prior to this role I’ve done technical writing/marketing/communications and funny enough, have a degree in it.
Not-CEO calls me again, says the info isn’t what they were looking for. I ask them to elaborate, like do they want a formatted table, do they want a further breakdown. I’m not familiar with the project and was given literally 80 words. All I was told was “Mm just not this.” And then I was condescendingly asked if I was “familiar with Microsoft word” which already left me in a sour mood.
Of course they still weren’t happy with what was sent and refused to elaborate, instead sending that email to my boss.
So yup, I saw it, cried about it, got through the day and am now dreading that I’ll have to return.
TLDR: Nepo sup wants me termed after 6 weeks because my role is too luxurious.