It’s been this way for me for years now. I used to be more open with my colleagues in previous jobs but got burned so many times. Now I’m reserved. Not unfriendly. I just don’t talk about really personal stuff and I stay out of office gossip, and political/religious conversations my colleagues have. I am polite, I love to help when needed, and I don’t mind the casual conversations. “What are you getting into this weekend” sort of stuff. I just don’t spill the sensitive topics. In my opinion, unless they are specifically work related, sensitive personal matters are not for the workplace. I also don’t join in the social lunches my coworkers have every day. I use my lunch to get some alone time, to decompress, read. It’s nothing personal, and I’ve explained this to them, I just need to be able to have quiet downtime to take on the rest of the day.
Where has this gotten me? Hostility from one coworker, the constant subject of gossip, everyone else is allowed to make mistakes but when I do I’m ridiculed for it, I don’t been pushed/prodded relentlessly to talk about very personal matters, etc.
And for what? Because I mind my own business, keep my own personal business to myself, and stay out of stressful conversations that aren’t necessary for work? Why are people who are private at work so threatening without doing anything that’s actually ….threatening? How is it threatening that I don’t want to get into a political debate? How is it threatening that I don’t want join in the chat about “Susie’s” second divorce? How is it threatening that I’d rather sit in my car and read than listen to my colleagues talk about people I don’t know, or worse, talk about work?