Categories
Antiwork

Work = anxiety. Any advice?

So it's Monday and I'm back to work from having a week off. I came back to 108 emails, not all are relevant or need responding…but 108 nonetheless. I work in the non-profit sector as a first time Supervisor. I have worked my way up in this field. I started frontline work way back and continued moving upwards through working at different agencies. In general, I enjoy (or thought I enjoyed) this work, but I'm realizing that it's taking a toll on my well-being. I've been working this sector for years, but took a break to try a few other things and came back to this. I started work (from home) at 8:30am today to get some quiet time before most people start at 9am. At 9:05, my boss emails me “welcome back, can you follow up with this” and then another 4 emails from her followed for other things…


So it's Monday and I'm back to work from having a week off. I came back to 108 emails, not all are relevant or need responding…but 108 nonetheless.

I work in the non-profit sector as a first time Supervisor. I have worked my way up in this field. I started frontline work way back and continued moving upwards through working at different agencies.

In general, I enjoy (or thought I enjoyed) this work, but I'm realizing that it's taking a toll on my well-being. I've been working this sector for years, but took a break to try a few other things and came back to this.

I started work (from home) at 8:30am today to get some quiet time before most people start at 9am. At 9:05, my boss emails me “welcome back, can you follow up with this” and then another 4 emails from her followed for other things to look into all before 9:30am. A few other colleagues messaged me “missed you last week – can you help me with this, can you look into this”. Maybe my boundaries suck? At work, people often come to me because I get things done well and never half-a$s things like some other people do including my boss, sadly.

I didn't recognize this feeling before going on vacation, but the tightening in my chest is not normal and is likely anxiety. During my vacation I did not feel this way once. ..of course, I know time away from work contributed to relaxation.

This work is fulfilling as it is related to children and youth, but I am also expected to work late and weekends some days to connect with families, do an event or be on site if a staff has to stay late for a family intake (or related) so they are not left alone in the office. I knew this going in and with this particular sector, I've been used to it. We get lieu time instead of OT pay, which is fine for me as I just flex my schedule. I don't have children etc., so at least I don't have to balance that, but I do have a partner whom I enjoy spending evenings with.

Also, because there is not enough staffing I feel like I'm spread thin or expected to get things done efficiently even though they don't hire enough people because “we are still waiting on a grant to come in”. When they do hire, I feel like they are hiring for new positions whereas existing programs need more support. For example, they hired a part time person for my team, but the role NEEDS a full-time staff for it to be effective. I've voiced my opinion multiple times, but have been told “funding pending”. After 2 months, that p/t person quit because they had to flex their schedule too much.

I have a side hustle that I am actively trying to launch, so this full time job is supporting that and bills in the meantime… my partner is not currently working because of some mental health struggles, so this job is keeping us going. But honestly, I don't know how much longer I can last even if my side hustle isn't fully established yet. And I've only been working here 11 months. January will be my 1 year. A new staff for that p/t position will be starting on my team next month, so I would feel unprofessional about quitting a month into their new job while they're training and learning the ropes. Although, there is a person on my team who I think would be a great replacement for me and is looking to “move up”.

By nature, I'm quite free-spirited and have ADHD. I like creative work…this job has a lot of deadlines and tasks. Some that are pretty tedious, but I manage. Why am I doing this work you may wonder – because I genuinely enjoy developing programs that support children and youth. But at what point does this passion have to take a step back?

Day 1 back and I'm tired, posting on Reddit for advice and that weird tightness in my chest is back already.

Any advice on how to stick with it until I don't have to? Or advice on how to better navigate this type of working world?

Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *