I know this is probably better off in other subreddits that handle mental health better. I just felt that the way things have gone with my job I needed to talk about it here.
First off the pay is shit. Yeah sure it's better than nothing and it's not under 10 dollars an hour, but I started off my work career almost 10 years ago. Sure I bounced around other jobs, but it's freaking ridiculous I'm having to settle for fucking minimum wage every time I want a job. I've tried to interview for jobs paying more than that and got declined often. I could practice all I want, but fumble during the interviews trying to come up with answers on the spot since I'm not great when something is on the line.
Secondly they don't seem to care at all when you actually do your job well. Sure they mave have meetings to discuss about how your team did, but I hardly come out of those thinking they really praised us. Then no matter how hard I try or careful I am I seem to make mistakes at work and they are so focused on those and I feel like shit when I make them.
Lastly, I know I need to change jobs really I do. However, it's tough trying to fit in interviews within a Monday-Friday especially when a lot of them want to do it during the day. I'd likely have to use my whole lunch break which is 30 minutes and talk about the phone. I also struggle with just trying to decide what job to try since there is so many out there. Sure someone could try and guide me, but I just feel I have a serious decision making skills problem. I could try and talk to a therapist about everything, but then I'd have to try to find time for that and just idk. I feel so mentally stuck and in huge burnout that I'm trying to fight through on a daily basis that by the time I'm done for the day I just want to curl up in my bed and cry. Sometimes I don't even get to do that and cry at my desk.
It really doesn't help I went through a layoff recently, because if I didn't I'd 100% quit right now without a job lined up.