Last time I made a post like this people bitched that it was unnecessary, only for the sub to later fill up with posts seeking advice on how to handle the situation. So, with the holiday season fast approaching, I figure it's time again to post a reminder.
It's great if your job wants to do a holiday party or gift exchange, and if you enjoy your job and your coworkers and want to participate, that's awesome for you! However, there are some rules of office etiquette (and general human decency) to keep in mind. This comes from a great Ask A Manager post about it which you can certainly reference in your own declination.
- Bosses shouldn't expect their employees to give them gifts, nor should coworkers be pressuring you to give towards a gift for the boss. The power dynamics and differences in pay make this a really icky act, and essentially it's like asking your employees to take a pay cut during the holidays to get you something.
- In addition to giving for the boss, you should not be pressured to give money towards any holiday events, gift exchanges, etc. that you're unwilling or unable to contribute to. Again it's like asking for a pay cut during the holidays as you funnel money back into the business.
- Gifts shouldn't be weirdly personal. It's fine to give a gift that caters to the recipient's interests but inappropriate or overly-personal gifts are unacceptable, and if you receive a gift like that it's okay to refuse it and even go so far as to report it to HR if it crosses a boundary.
- Company gifts should be equal among all staff. Don't give the C-suite fancy gift baskets and then give the underlings a $5 coffee card, that's just shitty. Everybody gets an equal quality gift, or don't offer them at all.
If you want some go-to phrases loaded up to make it less awkward when you decline giving, try one of the following:
- “Thank you for including me but I am unable to contribute at this time.”
- “Unfortunately all my disposable income for the holiday has already been earmarked for family, friends, and charities I contribute to outside of work.”
- “It's not proper etiquette to expect employees to 'gift up' therefor I will not be participating.”
- “I do not celebrate the holidays and will not be participating in any of the activities.”
And one final thing to remember (if your country does it this way): if your job says any holiday affair is MANDATORY, it MUST BE PAID. You cannot be required to participate in any work-related event without being paid for it. This also includes any applicable overtime pay as your state/country allows.
I hope everybody has a safe, stress-free, and happy holiday season!