I have been working since I was 15. The longest job I held was 2 years. Since then I have worked in a vast array of occupations. From grocer to fast food, retail, environmental services, manual outdoor labor, delivery driving, direct support professional, and even one time I was giving a receiving position for Harley Davidson.
Never once was I ever happy. I hated every single moment of every job I ever had. There was always an issue. Either Management was too horrid to tolerate, pay was laughably low for the amount of work, the work was physically taxing on my body, or the hours were horrendous leaving me almost no time to take care of my home and my mental well being. I have tried so many places only to give up after the first couple weeks.
What's the perfect job?
One where I have the option to stand or sit whenever I need to. I can make a livable wage without spending 40 hours a week at work. I don't do the work of 4-5 people. There aren't any extreme time constraints for the tasks that need to be accomplished so they get done correctly.
I have yet to believe a job like this exists. With my MDD, all I want to do is roll over and not wake up. I don't understand why I can't be like everyone else. Why does my brain feel like it's suffering every day through this hellscape? Is this all there is to my life?