Pretty much the title. I (29F) have been working in this new corporate company for more than a year as a graphic designer.
My boss and direct report(50F) today told me that my senior head of department (Director A(55M), whom my boss reports to), has been extremely unhappy with the small mistakes I've been making and that I've been slipping up. These are in reference to a few social posts I created that went out with 1 extra pixel of space and a typo. I won't disagree that my mental health has been very poor and unmotivated since I've been working late trying to keep up with demands the last few months. Feedback for multiple projects have been grueling (constant back and forth for hours, and director A changing his mind every other day about what he wants.) and I've found myself working until midnight in order to meet demands. Sometimes Director A gives me comments like “this should only take you an hour, why did it take you two?”
This is the first place I've worked where there is no real project manager system (we just hired a PM, but she is more of a secretary at the moment for Director A), so I'm left to reach out to clients, proof the copy, review all designs, and reach out to my coworkers to receive said copy, content, briefs, etc.
I responded to my boss today when she asked “what can we do to set you up for success? Director A is extremely upset that you constantly need feedback/edits back and forth. He's also very upset you wanted to take time off last week while 2/4 of our art team members are away on leave.”
To that, I responded that I simply needed some additional support or a second pair of eyes to help review while I'm working on things, sometimes I don't notice after starting at a screen for most of the day. There's no middle man between me, and the final client (Director A), so I feel like I'm jumping in headfirst constantly with no direction.
My boss responded saying that now that she's back from leave (she was on medical leave for 7 weeks), things are changing, and that she's going to be taking on 'bigger' projects now, and will not be around to 'hold my hand' (lol) and that I need to own my own projects/deal with my projects by myself. She said she'd soon no longer be around to review work and be asked her opinions because it takes up too much of her time. But I really don't think I asked for something that is uncommon in my field.
I've always reported to an art or creative director who looked over my work for inconsistencies before the world saw anything. It's not like I wanted her to do my work, but having 7 weeks without her around (while she was mostly away 90% of the day when she /was/ around) has not been super helpful for my development and I've no one to have a conversation about concepts/ideas/what works and what doesn't. There is not even an PM or accounts person to help my projects move along, so if a project is behind because there is copy hold-up from a writer, because I create the final graphic, it ultimately becomes my fault for lateness.
Meanwhile my boss often makes crude side comments even today like “why didn't you ask someone?” or “why didn't you ask me? I'm a resource.” when I could not find a specific photo, went to go find it for me, but then proceeded to forget about it for the rest of the day. This is pretty normal for her tbh, where she seems to just forget or focus on the wrong things, but then tells me I'm focused on the wrong things. The truth was that I was busy and put that project aside for something more urgent from Director A so idk if she was projecting.
My boss reframed her questions back to me and how 'I' can improve to help projects move along more smoothly. She and Director A looked over my report last week for 10-12 projects I've touched/finished within those 5 days, and commented that it didn't seem to them like I had an 'overwhelming' workload, so they were confused where my mishaps were coming from. They also mentioned that it was not fair to the rest of the team when I took days off, and that the other two team members who were away 'couldn't help it because they had a baby on the way.'
Either way, really seemed like 1. My work was not important to her, 2. My life outside of work was not important either.
They even added questions about if 'everything is going okay at home?' or if I was going through some mental health issues. While I do suffer from anxiety and depression, work/life balance has always been tremendously helpful for me. At this point and time, I do own up to the fact that while I may not be perfect, I also think it's messed up to say these things to me when I've been working alone most of the time. I know alot of people take ownership of their own work, but I also really desire to develop from interacting with others and receiving feedback other than “change this” and “why are you not working fast enough?”.
Also, I'm also not even in a senior position to make these calls on my own????
So, wondering if any of this is normal to anyone? Gosh this became long lol sorry! I'm updating my resume and website, I know the economy is not great but I want to see if there's anything better out there. I don't want to jump the gun yet but I feel like it's reasonable to leave at this point. My friends who aren't even in the same field as me have commented that even their managers all proof their work before they go out, so they're shocked I was told this today.
(also side note: my off time was denied because the freelancer that was supposed to do my work while I was away did not finish the work fast enough, so they felt it was not ideal for me to be away from my desk until all my coworkers returned from leave. Again, although I do feel bad about all the late work/understaffing, my friends have told me that it's not my fault that my job is this disorganized. Last time I took an extra day off, my boss told me it felt as if I punched her in the gut, and I was like dude what?)